my views on the question below, published in "The Central Chronicle" on June 7, 2008.
Qs: “Government should strictly ban production / sale of tobacco products ?”
Well, that would be so…. perfect! “Na rahega baans na bajegi baansuri”. ‘Tis long overdue. Manufacture and resulting sale of these should be strictly banned, not just in rule books, publicity media or ministerial speeches, but in actuality. Once such laws are passed -the easiest part- Government needs to ensure they’re followed.
It’s no use trying to blame the smoking public, imposing fines, threatening them to stop for consideration of health and environment. Large hoardings, expensive advertisements criticizing, listing out ill-effects and banning smoking in public etc. won’t yield much result, they’ll smoke in private. Neither will persuading ShahRukh Khan & Amitabh Bachchan to give up portraying smoking scenes help.
If the government genuinely wants a “no-smoking-country”, it’s most logical to stop producing & selling cigarettes, “bidhis” etc. giving up the temptation of earning related revenues. No smoke without “smoke”! Pass a bill, make a law, but make sure it’s “enforced” with ‘Singaporean discipline’!
Manisha Gupta
New Delhi
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Merry Christmas !
Wish u all a Very Merry Christmas!!
and surprised to read in the papers yesterday that the great economic meltdown has had a negative impact on even Santa Claus! unbelievable!! can't imagine that the recession has brought down the earnings of freelance Santa Claus and slashed into half the rates, which were something like USD 125 to USD 200 per hour two years ago. and also that the bookings have dipped to one fourth??
now, surely, these past two years, all have gone through a severe Global Financial Crisis, not sparing the ill effects on even the Christmas Santa!!
hope a Merrier Christmas for Santa in the coming years!!
//best//mg
and surprised to read in the papers yesterday that the great economic meltdown has had a negative impact on even Santa Claus! unbelievable!! can't imagine that the recession has brought down the earnings of freelance Santa Claus and slashed into half the rates, which were something like USD 125 to USD 200 per hour two years ago. and also that the bookings have dipped to one fourth??
now, surely, these past two years, all have gone through a severe Global Financial Crisis, not sparing the ill effects on even the Christmas Santa!!
hope a Merrier Christmas for Santa in the coming years!!
//best//mg
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
THANKS !!!!!
well, thanks dear readers from all the 10 countries reading my Blog!! today my pageviews cross the 1000th mark. 1001 to be precise.
do sincerely hope that these and future posts will evoke some more responses/comments/reactions/agreements/oppositions/....... from a wider audience to cultivate a more meaningful dialogue.
//best//mg
do sincerely hope that these and future posts will evoke some more responses/comments/reactions/agreements/oppositions/....... from a wider audience to cultivate a more meaningful dialogue.
//best//mg
SMEs, IPRs........
and for those of you who are either Entrepreneurs (aspiring or otherwise !!) or are interested in the area of SMEs (Small & Medium Enterprises)/ small business, do check out the latest edition of my column "THE SECOND LAST WORD" for an SME magazine-
"Branding For Dilution...... ??" (published in the December 2010 issue).
and another one published in the SME suplement -"SME WORLD" (November-December-2010-January-2011)- of the reputed Financial daily Newspaper "THE FINANCIAL EXPRESS" of Friday, December-10, 2010-
"IPRs & Branding For Artisanal Clusters".
i guess, i haven't yet disclosed this area of my work to you all.
i work in the area of IPRs (Intellectual Property Rights), specifically focussing on the SME sector and even Micro enterprises.
happy reading!!!
and
happy commenting!
//best//mg
"Branding For Dilution...... ??" (published in the December 2010 issue).
and another one published in the SME suplement -"SME WORLD" (November-December-2010-January-2011)- of the reputed Financial daily Newspaper "THE FINANCIAL EXPRESS" of Friday, December-10, 2010-
"IPRs & Branding For Artisanal Clusters".
i guess, i haven't yet disclosed this area of my work to you all.
i work in the area of IPRs (Intellectual Property Rights), specifically focussing on the SME sector and even Micro enterprises.
happy reading!!!
and
happy commenting!
//best//mg
Saturday, December 18, 2010
The COIN of LIFE
just check out this one published in The Focus Global Reporter, December 2010 issue!
comments are most welcome.//mg
The Coin of Life
Manisha Gupta
This beautiful concept called life is an interesting mix of opposites. The best part is that one’s thinking or perception depends on one’s own set of experiences. Two different people come up with two opposing views on life and its handling of living beings simply due to their opposite set of experiences. But all the same, both views and opinions are logical from each one’s point of view. It is their entirely different happenings in life that make them think and conclude the way they do. The individuality of their thinking arises from the individuality of their perceptions which are a consequence of their previous exposures to life’s circumstances. When looking at the entirety of life, these opposing perceptions are what together constitute life.
And I guess life would have been very dull and boring had we not had exact opposites sewn in every part of it. Moreover, we would not be able to understand life at all if there were no opposing views, experiences or perceptions. Because, unless and until we know the other side of this coin we cannot even understand the first side. For, how would one know what good is without ever having come across bad or evil? How would one realize the importance of light without knowing darkness? What meaning does positive have if one hasn’t come across a negative? One wouldn’t know the joy of happiness if one never experienced sadness. What meaning would success hold without having suffered failures? What meaning would pleasure have if one hasn’t experienced pain? Gain is gain because one knows what loss is.
So it is all these opposites that come together to form a whole, a complete whole called life. And one who experiences only one set of this whole, either the good or the bad, needs to go through the other set of experiences to make his learning of life complete. To open one’s vision of life, it is extremely necessary to have gone through the entire turmoil of having lost and won, laughed and cried, lost and gained.
This way the coin of life keeps rolling, stopping every now and then, with either positive side up or the negative one. The intelligence on one’s part is to keep it on the move always, after every stop, whether good or bad. Whatever pleasant and unpleasant themes are uncovered on the way during the course of this journey of life, one needs to absorb the positives and reject the negatives, yet learning more from the latter. Because it is loss that teaches us much more than any gain, it is pain that gives us more strength than any pleasure and it is sadness that toughens us many more times than any happiness. Though we neither understand nor realize, but it is most of the negatives in life that do us good, if we channelize them properly. For instance it is anger, frustration and dissatisfaction at times that prod us on to achieve such great heights that we wouldn’t even have thought of had we had only good experiences.
So the catch to live life lies in realizing the power of negatives combined with the energy of the positives. This is the only way to make the coin of life valuable and sparkling and shining right till the end. Because, to embrace death gracefully we need to have lived life completely, learning every moment and more importantly living it lovingly!
comments are most welcome.//mg
The Coin of Life
Manisha Gupta
This beautiful concept called life is an interesting mix of opposites. The best part is that one’s thinking or perception depends on one’s own set of experiences. Two different people come up with two opposing views on life and its handling of living beings simply due to their opposite set of experiences. But all the same, both views and opinions are logical from each one’s point of view. It is their entirely different happenings in life that make them think and conclude the way they do. The individuality of their thinking arises from the individuality of their perceptions which are a consequence of their previous exposures to life’s circumstances. When looking at the entirety of life, these opposing perceptions are what together constitute life.
And I guess life would have been very dull and boring had we not had exact opposites sewn in every part of it. Moreover, we would not be able to understand life at all if there were no opposing views, experiences or perceptions. Because, unless and until we know the other side of this coin we cannot even understand the first side. For, how would one know what good is without ever having come across bad or evil? How would one realize the importance of light without knowing darkness? What meaning does positive have if one hasn’t come across a negative? One wouldn’t know the joy of happiness if one never experienced sadness. What meaning would success hold without having suffered failures? What meaning would pleasure have if one hasn’t experienced pain? Gain is gain because one knows what loss is.
So it is all these opposites that come together to form a whole, a complete whole called life. And one who experiences only one set of this whole, either the good or the bad, needs to go through the other set of experiences to make his learning of life complete. To open one’s vision of life, it is extremely necessary to have gone through the entire turmoil of having lost and won, laughed and cried, lost and gained.
This way the coin of life keeps rolling, stopping every now and then, with either positive side up or the negative one. The intelligence on one’s part is to keep it on the move always, after every stop, whether good or bad. Whatever pleasant and unpleasant themes are uncovered on the way during the course of this journey of life, one needs to absorb the positives and reject the negatives, yet learning more from the latter. Because it is loss that teaches us much more than any gain, it is pain that gives us more strength than any pleasure and it is sadness that toughens us many more times than any happiness. Though we neither understand nor realize, but it is most of the negatives in life that do us good, if we channelize them properly. For instance it is anger, frustration and dissatisfaction at times that prod us on to achieve such great heights that we wouldn’t even have thought of had we had only good experiences.
So the catch to live life lies in realizing the power of negatives combined with the energy of the positives. This is the only way to make the coin of life valuable and sparkling and shining right till the end. Because, to embrace death gracefully we need to have lived life completely, learning every moment and more importantly living it lovingly!
Inner Voice ???
here's my article "Man's Inner Voice" . a slightly edited version of it has been published in "THE HINDUSTAN TIMES" on Monday, 13th December, 2010 under the title "THE INNER CALL".
do check it out.
Man’s Inner Voice
Manisha Gupta
This incident occurred somewhere in the early seventies. My father had to travel back by bus due to some reason. He had bought a “Mithai” box for the family. But when he was told it couldn’t be found in his bag, he remembered he’d kept it in the bus overhead luggage cabin and probably failed to pick it while getting down. We were sad to hear that, as it happened to be our favourite sweet. Anyway, by the evening, this minor thing had been forgotten.
Only to be reminded of it the next day. People of this era won’t believe that the next evening, the “Mithai ka Dibba” arrived at our guest house, intact. Actually, the conductor of the bus had noticed the piece of luggage left over a seat, remembered that my father had got down just near the Forest Rest House, and so the next day, when the bus came on its journey again, he made it a point to deliver the packet to us. He took all this pain for just a one kg sweet left by a passenger! How sweet!
Which reminds me of a recent news item which said that some flight passenger’s blackberry mobile phone had been intentionally picked up by some other passenger. And this wrong doer was probably a person with a decent job. What a contrast between the two incidents! This is all about man’s inner voice, his conscience. Only that some listen to it and some don’t. In fact it is a sad state of affairs that in the olden days, there were more of the former tribe. And perhaps that’s one of the main reasons why people were happier then than now.
In this modern era, people run away from their conscience, run after things materialistic, in pursuit of happiness, in search of some unknown satisfaction. They don’t have time “to stand & stare” at their ownselves, no time to ponder or think over issues, no time to even look within oneself. This is the reason why values are depleting faster than the earth’s resources. People’s behaviour changes quicker than the climate and tempers and frustrations rise higher than the rising sea levels.
Guess the only way to contain all this negative climate change in man’s personal life is to delve deeper into himself and listen to his inner voice!
do check it out.
Man’s Inner Voice
Manisha Gupta
This incident occurred somewhere in the early seventies. My father had to travel back by bus due to some reason. He had bought a “Mithai” box for the family. But when he was told it couldn’t be found in his bag, he remembered he’d kept it in the bus overhead luggage cabin and probably failed to pick it while getting down. We were sad to hear that, as it happened to be our favourite sweet. Anyway, by the evening, this minor thing had been forgotten.
Only to be reminded of it the next day. People of this era won’t believe that the next evening, the “Mithai ka Dibba” arrived at our guest house, intact. Actually, the conductor of the bus had noticed the piece of luggage left over a seat, remembered that my father had got down just near the Forest Rest House, and so the next day, when the bus came on its journey again, he made it a point to deliver the packet to us. He took all this pain for just a one kg sweet left by a passenger! How sweet!
Which reminds me of a recent news item which said that some flight passenger’s blackberry mobile phone had been intentionally picked up by some other passenger. And this wrong doer was probably a person with a decent job. What a contrast between the two incidents! This is all about man’s inner voice, his conscience. Only that some listen to it and some don’t. In fact it is a sad state of affairs that in the olden days, there were more of the former tribe. And perhaps that’s one of the main reasons why people were happier then than now.
In this modern era, people run away from their conscience, run after things materialistic, in pursuit of happiness, in search of some unknown satisfaction. They don’t have time “to stand & stare” at their ownselves, no time to ponder or think over issues, no time to even look within oneself. This is the reason why values are depleting faster than the earth’s resources. People’s behaviour changes quicker than the climate and tempers and frustrations rise higher than the rising sea levels.
Guess the only way to contain all this negative climate change in man’s personal life is to delve deeper into himself and listen to his inner voice!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Kya Kya Break Karein????
read another article "And, Honey, how do we split the khansamas?" by Namita Devidayal & Swati Deshpande in the Times of India.
this one brings to light facts about couples planning to separate (not just live in separate bedrooms or flats!) or divorce and facing problems dividing all the possessions into two. i was shocked to learn that this included fights or hassels over division of art collections, air miles, even club memberships and even the family cook ie: the "khansama".
my God, i never even thought in my wildest of dreams that separating or divorcing couples were more bothered about how to divide equally the Hussains and the Club memberships and the "khansamas" rather than worried about the division of their oneness, their shared memories and happy & sad times spent together!!!!
in this materialsitic age, i guess, it's easier and more affordable for them to find another partner and another set of shared life than obtain a hussain or a Souza or a Gymkhana Club membership or a good and efficient "Khansama".
and , what about the children (and if there's only one child??)??
does a division or custody factor of a child/children and division of his life into two separate incomplete halves come after they are through with fights and legal battles over other possessions?
and even when this problem comes to be solved,are they able to divide EVERYTHING into two equal halves???
who owns the shared life, the memories of the family, the happy times, the trials & tribulations of struggles, the sleepless nights spent over a child's high fever or the fear of a child not returning home till late in the night or the jubiliation experienced over an offspring's achievement or the excitement of the next good job or first trip abroad together??
who, i repeat, WHO gets to keep all these and many more such possessions? and when either one of the spouses does get to keep these, do these possessions still retain their original meaning and significance??
pray tell me o separating couples, can you answer this simple question of mine???
//best//mg
this one brings to light facts about couples planning to separate (not just live in separate bedrooms or flats!) or divorce and facing problems dividing all the possessions into two. i was shocked to learn that this included fights or hassels over division of art collections, air miles, even club memberships and even the family cook ie: the "khansama".
my God, i never even thought in my wildest of dreams that separating or divorcing couples were more bothered about how to divide equally the Hussains and the Club memberships and the "khansamas" rather than worried about the division of their oneness, their shared memories and happy & sad times spent together!!!!
in this materialsitic age, i guess, it's easier and more affordable for them to find another partner and another set of shared life than obtain a hussain or a Souza or a Gymkhana Club membership or a good and efficient "Khansama".
and , what about the children (and if there's only one child??)??
does a division or custody factor of a child/children and division of his life into two separate incomplete halves come after they are through with fights and legal battles over other possessions?
and even when this problem comes to be solved,are they able to divide EVERYTHING into two equal halves???
who owns the shared life, the memories of the family, the happy times, the trials & tribulations of struggles, the sleepless nights spent over a child's high fever or the fear of a child not returning home till late in the night or the jubiliation experienced over an offspring's achievement or the excitement of the next good job or first trip abroad together??
who, i repeat, WHO gets to keep all these and many more such possessions? and when either one of the spouses does get to keep these, do these possessions still retain their original meaning and significance??
pray tell me o separating couples, can you answer this simple question of mine???
//best//mg
Monday, December 6, 2010
BREAK KE SAATH ???
Dec-6,2010
Just read an article “Living Apart Together” by Namita Devidayal, published in The Times of India of Dec-4,2010.
The piece gives reasons and justifications for married couples to be having separate Bedrooms. It says this latest fad is due to each one wanting more “personal space”. Samething was said and conveyed by Deepika Padukone’s character in the film “BREAK KE BAAD”. She needed more space ……from her love & relationships.
Well, if one wants to stay so…...independent, then why love or marry at all??? Isn’t falling in love and /or marrying a way of filling up the immediate space around you with love, emotional security?? And when that space is filled up, you want to create space between the partners??? First you want love then you want distance from that love, first you long for someone to come near you, your heart, your emotions and then you feel suffocated because of that very closeness?? And just imagine if in that “personal space” that you crave for in a marriage or love relationship, someone else happens to accommodate??? What then ??? won’t you feel bad? Cheated? Emotionally insecure? Just what happened to Deepika in the end of the movie??
The question “Can separate bedrooms save a marriage??” is answered in the affirmative and it even ends with “separate flats are even better”. Well, I don’t agree. Only positive aspect of couples staying in separate bedrooms, that comes to my mind is that it may have a positive effect on the world population.
But if you have to live apart, then might as well not get married. Marriage is all about accommodating, adjusting, tolerating and giving each other space ……….without actually creating physical, mental & emotional space within the relationship. living separately is actually going to create a distance within the relationship.
Staying away from each other for a while is fine but living separately is quite another dimension to the relationship //best//mg
Just read an article “Living Apart Together” by Namita Devidayal, published in The Times of India of Dec-4,2010.
The piece gives reasons and justifications for married couples to be having separate Bedrooms. It says this latest fad is due to each one wanting more “personal space”. Samething was said and conveyed by Deepika Padukone’s character in the film “BREAK KE BAAD”. She needed more space ……from her love & relationships.
Well, if one wants to stay so…...independent, then why love or marry at all??? Isn’t falling in love and /or marrying a way of filling up the immediate space around you with love, emotional security?? And when that space is filled up, you want to create space between the partners??? First you want love then you want distance from that love, first you long for someone to come near you, your heart, your emotions and then you feel suffocated because of that very closeness?? And just imagine if in that “personal space” that you crave for in a marriage or love relationship, someone else happens to accommodate??? What then ??? won’t you feel bad? Cheated? Emotionally insecure? Just what happened to Deepika in the end of the movie??
The question “Can separate bedrooms save a marriage??” is answered in the affirmative and it even ends with “separate flats are even better”. Well, I don’t agree. Only positive aspect of couples staying in separate bedrooms, that comes to my mind is that it may have a positive effect on the world population.
But if you have to live apart, then might as well not get married. Marriage is all about accommodating, adjusting, tolerating and giving each other space ……….without actually creating physical, mental & emotional space within the relationship. living separately is actually going to create a distance within the relationship.
Staying away from each other for a while is fine but living separately is quite another dimension to the relationship //best//mg
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Global Audience
hi all !
its great to know that my Blog is being viewed by people from accross the globe. the pages have been viewed from countries like the United States, Canada, Russia, Malasiya, Austraila, Croatia, Saudi Arabia, Slovenia. Apart from these, ofcourse there's a huge number from my home country- India.
Thank you all from everywhere !!
It would also be great if you post your vauable comments to make this Blog more interactive and meaningful. because once i know your views/suggestions/opinions, this process will be more useful for all.
//best//mg
its great to know that my Blog is being viewed by people from accross the globe. the pages have been viewed from countries like the United States, Canada, Russia, Malasiya, Austraila, Croatia, Saudi Arabia, Slovenia. Apart from these, ofcourse there's a huge number from my home country- India.
Thank you all from everywhere !!
It would also be great if you post your vauable comments to make this Blog more interactive and meaningful. because once i know your views/suggestions/opinions, this process will be more useful for all.
//best//mg
Friday, December 3, 2010
Imperfection is COOL now!!!
just have been noticing something accross people from all walks, specially the younger generation. what was "cool" or "hot" earlier is now passe. the stress on perfection, in everything.................... including style of dressing up............is not "cool" anymore. times have changed terribly. and all change is not good. just like the climate change phenomenon is not good,so too the change in climate of fashions and trends these days doesn't seem to be a positive one.
earlier, perfection was the in thing. when you dressed to go out, everything had to be or atleast the effort was to make it tend towards perfection. whether the dress or the hairstyle or the footwear...whatever.
but these days i notice that imperfection is "cool". from hair to clothes to footwear to style of walking, the trend sadly seems to be towards imperfection.
they don't wear their shirts or trousers the "normal" way. the former may be far above the waist while the latter far below the waist!
any slippers or shoes would do. even jeans & tops with a ragged and torn look are supposed to be "cool". ofcourse cool they'll be ....since they have so much of ventilation..!!!
even the way of walking is casual. walking with a perfect gait is no more sought after. whether boys or girls, the aim is to adopt a very different walking style, far from the perfect looking one.
phew!!
i can just go on and on on this...
maybe some other time
till then....
//best//mg
earlier, perfection was the in thing. when you dressed to go out, everything had to be or atleast the effort was to make it tend towards perfection. whether the dress or the hairstyle or the footwear...whatever.
but these days i notice that imperfection is "cool". from hair to clothes to footwear to style of walking, the trend sadly seems to be towards imperfection.
they don't wear their shirts or trousers the "normal" way. the former may be far above the waist while the latter far below the waist!
any slippers or shoes would do. even jeans & tops with a ragged and torn look are supposed to be "cool". ofcourse cool they'll be ....since they have so much of ventilation..!!!
even the way of walking is casual. walking with a perfect gait is no more sought after. whether boys or girls, the aim is to adopt a very different walking style, far from the perfect looking one.
phew!!
i can just go on and on on this...
maybe some other time
till then....
//best//mg
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The power of God !!
talking about the "Made in Heaven Tag", let's now come to the power of God. My opinion on the Question below, published in The Central Chronicle of July,19,2008.
Is the power of God Almighty not yet in full force in the world?
"Full" force...?? Well at times you feel it is not even in one millionth of the force! The way this world is going, working or deteriorating, one is forced to believe that the power of the Almighty is being countered heavily by negative forces bent upon destroying to the core, this beautiful, one of a kind, creation of God.
Nothing seems to be going the right way except wrong! From all kinds of crises to crimes to deteriorating climate patterns and hence greater global challenges, there's more to worry about than be happy. You really wonder what God is doing when you hear of the crimes rates soaring higher than the temperatures resulting from global warming. Why is it that the wrong doers are flourishing while the right ones suffer? Why did God have to take away untimely the likes of Mr.V.Venkateshwara Rao who was in fact going to return to his home country?
The only time you feel there's still God is when you hear of the baby who was flung out of the window to prevent it from burning, when a high-rise building was on fire in some foreign land, was caught safely by the firemen. Or when you read of the young executive in Gurgaon, who met with a serious accident on his last day to work, having a 5 ft. long iron angle piercing the upper half of his body, survive after this ordeal and a 6 hr surgery !
Only one wishes the power of The Almighty is the one that dominates the world! //Manisha Gupta
Is the power of God Almighty not yet in full force in the world?
"Full" force...?? Well at times you feel it is not even in one millionth of the force! The way this world is going, working or deteriorating, one is forced to believe that the power of the Almighty is being countered heavily by negative forces bent upon destroying to the core, this beautiful, one of a kind, creation of God.
Nothing seems to be going the right way except wrong! From all kinds of crises to crimes to deteriorating climate patterns and hence greater global challenges, there's more to worry about than be happy. You really wonder what God is doing when you hear of the crimes rates soaring higher than the temperatures resulting from global warming. Why is it that the wrong doers are flourishing while the right ones suffer? Why did God have to take away untimely the likes of Mr.V.Venkateshwara Rao who was in fact going to return to his home country?
The only time you feel there's still God is when you hear of the baby who was flung out of the window to prevent it from burning, when a high-rise building was on fire in some foreign land, was caught safely by the firemen. Or when you read of the young executive in Gurgaon, who met with a serious accident on his last day to work, having a 5 ft. long iron angle piercing the upper half of his body, survive after this ordeal and a 6 hr surgery !
Only one wishes the power of The Almighty is the one that dominates the world! //Manisha Gupta
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
E-Bachchas anyone ....?????
continuing with my take on Marriages, someone had asked if hitech marriages will replace the traditional form of marriages?
Will replace…??, well I guess traditional marriages have already been replaced.
Right from making a marriage to sustaining it, it’s hitech all the way. Marriages, traditionally were the made in heaven types, but now they’re more of the “made on the internet” variety. Much quicker in every sense, from start to finish. Then keeping a marriage working has also become tech savvy. Unlike oldtimes, today couples have marriages cutting across borders, with both partners living in two different parts of the world but staying married and connected through E-mail, sms, webcam, mobile et al.
Maybe in future, we’ll have “e-rings” exchanged followed by “E-jaimals”,“E-pheras” and “E-aashirwads”. Only God knows what will happen to the high-tech “E-bachchas” !!
//best//mg
Will replace…??, well I guess traditional marriages have already been replaced.
Right from making a marriage to sustaining it, it’s hitech all the way. Marriages, traditionally were the made in heaven types, but now they’re more of the “made on the internet” variety. Much quicker in every sense, from start to finish. Then keeping a marriage working has also become tech savvy. Unlike oldtimes, today couples have marriages cutting across borders, with both partners living in two different parts of the world but staying married and connected through E-mail, sms, webcam, mobile et al.
Maybe in future, we’ll have “e-rings” exchanged followed by “E-jaimals”,“E-pheras” and “E-aashirwads”. Only God knows what will happen to the high-tech “E-bachchas” !!
//best//mg
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
The "Made In Heaven" Tag
Talking about marriage, here are my Views on "Are Marriages Made in Heaven", published in the "Central Chronicle" on June 14, 2008. all of you are most welcome to comment on..... my comment!!
“Are Marriages made in Heaven ?”
Manisha Gupta
Not any more!! Can’t blame everything on God! Marriages were once upon a time, till a couple of years ago, “made in Heaven” and were heavenly pure, pretty perfect & peaceful. Now they’re 110% ‘Made on Earth’ and the whole globe bears the brunt. Because for “Global peace”, I firmly believe there should first be peace in the most intimate & closest relationships, marriage being one such.
Love, commitment, fidelity, sacrifice, “everlasting”, “till-death-do-us-part”, “saaton janam” or “janam janamantar ka saath” etc., no more hold. In an era of husband murdering more than wife’s feelings & emotions or parents & brothers for money/property, or the wife herself for another woman, and the equally modern wife having no hassels in killing the husband for a lover, meaning of the institution called marriage has undergone a tremendous change.
So can’t misuse the ‘Made in Heaven’ brand because marriages nomore satisfy very trademark qualities associated with this tag!
“Are Marriages made in Heaven ?”
Manisha Gupta
Not any more!! Can’t blame everything on God! Marriages were once upon a time, till a couple of years ago, “made in Heaven” and were heavenly pure, pretty perfect & peaceful. Now they’re 110% ‘Made on Earth’ and the whole globe bears the brunt. Because for “Global peace”, I firmly believe there should first be peace in the most intimate & closest relationships, marriage being one such.
Love, commitment, fidelity, sacrifice, “everlasting”, “till-death-do-us-part”, “saaton janam” or “janam janamantar ka saath” etc., no more hold. In an era of husband murdering more than wife’s feelings & emotions or parents & brothers for money/property, or the wife herself for another woman, and the equally modern wife having no hassels in killing the husband for a lover, meaning of the institution called marriage has undergone a tremendous change.
So can’t misuse the ‘Made in Heaven’ brand because marriages nomore satisfy very trademark qualities associated with this tag!
Wednesday-Nov-24,2010
Anyone interested in poetry?? (including mine ?????)
Check out http://www.indianwriters.org/delhi/manisha_gupta.htm
Have put up some of my English poetry there.
Also, can read my magazine column “The Second Last Word”
Topics till now
1. “C”SR For Happiness” (July 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/features-108/csr-for-happiness-105.php)
2. “Leadership For SMEs” (August 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/special-reports-109/Leadership%20for%20SMEs-147.php)
3. “Skilling the Bottom of the SME Pyramid” (September 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/special-reports-109/skilling-the-bottom-of-the-sme-pyramid-163.php)
4. “Selling For Winning” (October 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/focus-100/selling-for-winning-205.php)
5. “Gendered For Injustice….??” (November 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/special-reports/gendered-for-injustice.php)
Anyone interested in poetry?? (including mine ?????)
Check out http://www.indianwriters.org/delhi/manisha_gupta.htm
Have put up some of my English poetry there.
Also, can read my magazine column “The Second Last Word”
Topics till now
1. “C”SR For Happiness” (July 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/features-108/csr-for-happiness-105.php)
2. “Leadership For SMEs” (August 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/special-reports-109/Leadership%20for%20SMEs-147.php)
3. “Skilling the Bottom of the SME Pyramid” (September 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/special-reports-109/skilling-the-bottom-of-the-sme-pyramid-163.php)
4. “Selling For Winning” (October 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/focus-100/selling-for-winning-205.php)
5. “Gendered For Injustice….??” (November 2010).
(http://www.smeworld.org/story/special-reports/gendered-for-injustice.php)
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Think Before You Splurge.......!
Hi!
with the marriage season having just begun, here's a relevant comment of mine that was published in the "OPEN FORUM" column of the Daily Newspaper "CENTRAL CHRONICLE" on 10th May, 2008.
I even won the FIRST PRIZE for this comment. Only, that the "Central Chronicle" has never sent me that prize money till date, even after repeated emails, letters and reminders. and surely, they don't intend to send it now.
well, that's another story that i'll write about later. you know how it is with creators....the likes of writers, painters etc. people want to use their work but don't want to pay for it.
anyway, for now, happy reading!!!//best//mg
Open Forum: Central Chronicle
Should marriage dinner parties be simple ?
Yes, definitely! With India shining and Indians getting more affluent by the day, marriage celebrations are increasingly becoming more lavish and wasteful. They’re more an event to establish one’s prosperity and affordability rather than just a celebration of the marriage itself. Money spent on food alone is exorbitant. It’s not all that necessary to have an entire line-up of dishes just to match or exceed that of your competitors or peers as a lot of food goes waste.
With India, shining from one side and dark from the other, having people who’ve to fight for their daily bread and many a time sleep empty stomach, it would be worthwhile if the budget of the marriage dinner be slashed and the balance amount utilized in feeding mouths that really ‘need to eat to survive’ rather than overstuffing those already bulging figures whose health will be better off if they ate less!
Manisha Gupta
with the marriage season having just begun, here's a relevant comment of mine that was published in the "OPEN FORUM" column of the Daily Newspaper "CENTRAL CHRONICLE" on 10th May, 2008.
I even won the FIRST PRIZE for this comment. Only, that the "Central Chronicle" has never sent me that prize money till date, even after repeated emails, letters and reminders. and surely, they don't intend to send it now.
well, that's another story that i'll write about later. you know how it is with creators....the likes of writers, painters etc. people want to use their work but don't want to pay for it.
anyway, for now, happy reading!!!//best//mg
Open Forum: Central Chronicle
Should marriage dinner parties be simple ?
Yes, definitely! With India shining and Indians getting more affluent by the day, marriage celebrations are increasingly becoming more lavish and wasteful. They’re more an event to establish one’s prosperity and affordability rather than just a celebration of the marriage itself. Money spent on food alone is exorbitant. It’s not all that necessary to have an entire line-up of dishes just to match or exceed that of your competitors or peers as a lot of food goes waste.
With India, shining from one side and dark from the other, having people who’ve to fight for their daily bread and many a time sleep empty stomach, it would be worthwhile if the budget of the marriage dinner be slashed and the balance amount utilized in feeding mouths that really ‘need to eat to survive’ rather than overstuffing those already bulging figures whose health will be better off if they ate less!
Manisha Gupta
Monday, November 22, 2010
Live Life Rather Than Leave it !!!
Here's sharing with you my latest article published in the Nov. issue of The Focus Global Reporter.
Countering Negatives for Spiritual Bliss
Manisha Gupta
We always tend to feel depressed whenever a negative event happens in our life. Quite natural! Nobody ever can or will feel good about something bad happening to them. But the catch is in en-cashing these negative events in one’s life.
Just like friction is a negative or opposing force but a necessity that helps us do a number of things the most important being walking and running, so do other negative forces. You will agree that pleasant events make one happy and satisfied and therefore in a way give up on certain things. If I say the negative forces are as necessary in life as friction in walking, I wouldn’t be wrong. I feel from personal experience that the more the opposing forces or adverse circumstances, the more it propels one forward.
When all is well we seldom strive to reach out for difficult things. But in adverse circumstances, we unknowingly try much harder, put in much more effort and bring out all the hidden strength of the body, the mind and the inner self. This helps us achieve even the most unachievable of tasks and at the same time helps realize our hidden talent and potential to the maximum.
The wrongs that people do to us and the negative incidents that life throws in our face of course hurt a lot, cause insufferable pain and emotional upheaval. But all the same these very incidents push us forward and at times beyond boundaries that we ever dreamt of had those negative forces not worked against us. This is the hidden essence of the negative events. They open doors of opportunity that we never imagined existed. They also push our performance beyond our regular capabilities.
Therefore, to be an achiever, it is the negatives in life that are more important than the positives. Simply because when everything is right, we’re happy and contended and seldom strive to work at something but when things go wrong, we try to win against all odds. Winners are those who convert negatives into winning opportunities. So make the most of the negatives in life because it is these that will make you realize your true and hidden potential and help you achieve great heights!
Once you are able to overcome difficulties, counter negatives, face tough situations and come out of it all a winner, your sense of achievement will know no bounds. But more than achievement, it is the internal satisfaction of having fought with life’s trials and tribulations that gives you a rare kind of inner strength and mental peace. This state of calm and serene, both in the mind and the heart, is what one can truly term as spiritual bliss. It is all about the upliftment of the self to a higher plane. So, spirituality is not about renouncing the world and shunning all duties and responsibilities.
It is rather more about living life than leaving life!
Countering Negatives for Spiritual Bliss
Manisha Gupta
We always tend to feel depressed whenever a negative event happens in our life. Quite natural! Nobody ever can or will feel good about something bad happening to them. But the catch is in en-cashing these negative events in one’s life.
Just like friction is a negative or opposing force but a necessity that helps us do a number of things the most important being walking and running, so do other negative forces. You will agree that pleasant events make one happy and satisfied and therefore in a way give up on certain things. If I say the negative forces are as necessary in life as friction in walking, I wouldn’t be wrong. I feel from personal experience that the more the opposing forces or adverse circumstances, the more it propels one forward.
When all is well we seldom strive to reach out for difficult things. But in adverse circumstances, we unknowingly try much harder, put in much more effort and bring out all the hidden strength of the body, the mind and the inner self. This helps us achieve even the most unachievable of tasks and at the same time helps realize our hidden talent and potential to the maximum.
The wrongs that people do to us and the negative incidents that life throws in our face of course hurt a lot, cause insufferable pain and emotional upheaval. But all the same these very incidents push us forward and at times beyond boundaries that we ever dreamt of had those negative forces not worked against us. This is the hidden essence of the negative events. They open doors of opportunity that we never imagined existed. They also push our performance beyond our regular capabilities.
Therefore, to be an achiever, it is the negatives in life that are more important than the positives. Simply because when everything is right, we’re happy and contended and seldom strive to work at something but when things go wrong, we try to win against all odds. Winners are those who convert negatives into winning opportunities. So make the most of the negatives in life because it is these that will make you realize your true and hidden potential and help you achieve great heights!
Once you are able to overcome difficulties, counter negatives, face tough situations and come out of it all a winner, your sense of achievement will know no bounds. But more than achievement, it is the internal satisfaction of having fought with life’s trials and tribulations that gives you a rare kind of inner strength and mental peace. This state of calm and serene, both in the mind and the heart, is what one can truly term as spiritual bliss. It is all about the upliftment of the self to a higher plane. So, spirituality is not about renouncing the world and shunning all duties and responsibilities.
It is rather more about living life than leaving life!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Global Emotional Cooling
Nov-10-2010
Had the opportunity of attending a panel discussion on “Promoting Healthy Living: Role & Responsibilities of school” at DPS-RKP, New Delhi yesterday. And it was good to hear the concerns I wrote in “Always Connected” the other day, being discussed there too.
Such workshops and efforts should form a necessary part of school education these days. Other schools should take cue and emulate such good practices. Moreover, apart from the physical & mental health, Emotional health of the younger generation is one aspect which needs much more attention than it is being given already, as also discussed during this workshop.
Coming to emotional health, it is all about understanding the heart more than the head. And believe me, the former is a much much more tougher job. For, understanding someone’s mind requires brains, intellect and logic but to understand someone’s heart, you need a heart, which is hard to find these days.
People have become heartless….., if I may say so without raising a storm….
With global warming reaching such heights that it resulted in melting of the global economy as well, apart from the glaciers, but somehow people’s hearts have hardened and emotions cooled. Don’t know if this is a side effect of global warming, Nature trying to balance one warming with another cooling, but surely, what we all want is not melting of the glacial ice or economy but that of the heart.
For, if we start warming our hearts to others, again Nature will probably create a balance, and environmental temperatures may come within reasonable limits.
So all you young people out there (and iam sure most of you are), take more care of your heart, let it “feel”, let it “breathe”, let it “melt” and believe me, you’ll feel stronger & lighter at the same time and definitely happier. But surely, before taking any decisions, don’t forget to consult your mind.
It is all about striking a balance…….between the head and the heart. But for God’s sake…… do have a heart!
Here’s sharing something with you that I wrote for my son’s school notebook as a mother’s message
“follow your heart for it is seldom wrong! But act & react with your mind for you must live intelligently!”
//best//mg
Had the opportunity of attending a panel discussion on “Promoting Healthy Living: Role & Responsibilities of school” at DPS-RKP, New Delhi yesterday. And it was good to hear the concerns I wrote in “Always Connected” the other day, being discussed there too.
Such workshops and efforts should form a necessary part of school education these days. Other schools should take cue and emulate such good practices. Moreover, apart from the physical & mental health, Emotional health of the younger generation is one aspect which needs much more attention than it is being given already, as also discussed during this workshop.
Coming to emotional health, it is all about understanding the heart more than the head. And believe me, the former is a much much more tougher job. For, understanding someone’s mind requires brains, intellect and logic but to understand someone’s heart, you need a heart, which is hard to find these days.
People have become heartless….., if I may say so without raising a storm….
With global warming reaching such heights that it resulted in melting of the global economy as well, apart from the glaciers, but somehow people’s hearts have hardened and emotions cooled. Don’t know if this is a side effect of global warming, Nature trying to balance one warming with another cooling, but surely, what we all want is not melting of the glacial ice or economy but that of the heart.
For, if we start warming our hearts to others, again Nature will probably create a balance, and environmental temperatures may come within reasonable limits.
So all you young people out there (and iam sure most of you are), take more care of your heart, let it “feel”, let it “breathe”, let it “melt” and believe me, you’ll feel stronger & lighter at the same time and definitely happier. But surely, before taking any decisions, don’t forget to consult your mind.
It is all about striking a balance…….between the head and the heart. But for God’s sake…… do have a heart!
Here’s sharing something with you that I wrote for my son’s school notebook as a mother’s message
“follow your heart for it is seldom wrong! But act & react with your mind for you must live intelligently!”
//best//mg
Monday, November 8, 2010
Always Connected
Hi all!
Am back after the Diwali break! Hope you all had a great time.
The festival of lights sure brought me more thoughts & realizations along with all the festive goodies & sweets. Suddenly more insights dawned on me and the twinkling Diyas brought to light more facts of today’s lifestyles.
We’d just stepped out of the house to do some Diwali shopping when we received this sms from our offspring “Ma, going for my bath. Will take 15 mins”. Don’t laugh but this is how it is now. Everyone is connected to everyone ALL the time. Thanks to the great mobile revolution. As if computers, internet & email weren’t enough. The slow pace of communication of the olden days….from the “Kabootar Jaa Jaa Jaa….” age to the postman’s bicycle “ghanti” days to the email, chat, and now mobile & sms days…….to fast paced instant communication of today, we’ve come a long way. Only, now no way is long. No waiting, no anticipation, no “pyaar ka intezaar” or longing for the loved one. No excitement, no tension, no confusion. It’s all a matter of seconds. The deal or ordeal is over. And you move on.
Gen-now knows no waiting. Can’t wait to connect, to talk, to communicate. Every little thing. But amidst all this great speed of connectivity with anyone, anywhere around the globe, haven’t we forgotten to connect with ourselves?? Where are we running to all the time? And for what? Being always connected to others has left us little time to ourselves. To be ourselves, to think, to ponder, to look back. We literally have “no time to stand and stare”. Forget look at how and “where squirrels hide their nuts in grass” but we don’t even have time to delve into what thoughts lie hidden in our own minds or what emotions lie beneath our tender hearts.
Too much communication and too much open-ness actually kills the communication. I guess the essence of communication lies in not communicating somethings, sometimes. I feel at times it is those words unsaid that have more value than those said. Leave some words unsaid.
Stop, think, look …beyond the visible visibles and delve deeper into the depths of life to discover more of yourself and more about the life we seem to live!!!!
//best//mg
Am back after the Diwali break! Hope you all had a great time.
The festival of lights sure brought me more thoughts & realizations along with all the festive goodies & sweets. Suddenly more insights dawned on me and the twinkling Diyas brought to light more facts of today’s lifestyles.
We’d just stepped out of the house to do some Diwali shopping when we received this sms from our offspring “Ma, going for my bath. Will take 15 mins”. Don’t laugh but this is how it is now. Everyone is connected to everyone ALL the time. Thanks to the great mobile revolution. As if computers, internet & email weren’t enough. The slow pace of communication of the olden days….from the “Kabootar Jaa Jaa Jaa….” age to the postman’s bicycle “ghanti” days to the email, chat, and now mobile & sms days…….to fast paced instant communication of today, we’ve come a long way. Only, now no way is long. No waiting, no anticipation, no “pyaar ka intezaar” or longing for the loved one. No excitement, no tension, no confusion. It’s all a matter of seconds. The deal or ordeal is over. And you move on.
Gen-now knows no waiting. Can’t wait to connect, to talk, to communicate. Every little thing. But amidst all this great speed of connectivity with anyone, anywhere around the globe, haven’t we forgotten to connect with ourselves?? Where are we running to all the time? And for what? Being always connected to others has left us little time to ourselves. To be ourselves, to think, to ponder, to look back. We literally have “no time to stand and stare”. Forget look at how and “where squirrels hide their nuts in grass” but we don’t even have time to delve into what thoughts lie hidden in our own minds or what emotions lie beneath our tender hearts.
Too much communication and too much open-ness actually kills the communication. I guess the essence of communication lies in not communicating somethings, sometimes. I feel at times it is those words unsaid that have more value than those said. Leave some words unsaid.
Stop, think, look …beyond the visible visibles and delve deeper into the depths of life to discover more of yourself and more about the life we seem to live!!!!
//best//mg
Friday, October 15, 2010
Who’s Most Influential In The World……..?
here's an opinion of mine published on the TIME magazine website, in response to their question "Who's most influential in the world?"
Posted by Manisha Gupta in New Delhi, INDIA: /2.5.2008
Who’s Most Influential In The World……..?
The most “influential” in the world is off course TIME (I am NOT talking about the magazine dear!!). Time is what influences the happenings and the non-happenings in the world, influencing minds, mentality, motives and moves. Talking of the most “influential personality” in the world, having the largest “sphere of influence”-both literally and figuratively- it is off course GOD, The Almighty. He is the one who makes the world go round…… literally! He has the influence over every good or bad that happens to each creature on this globe.
But tell me, does “influential” necessarily
mean “visible”, “popular”, “famous”, “well-known”, “most seen” etc ? Then by this criteria, I believe Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan shouldn’t have been left out in the “TIME” list because of their magical, charismatic and “FAN”tastic influence on a global audience. They have the influence to bring tears and cheers in reel and real life to millions and millions and millions far transcending national and cultural boundaries.
On a more philosophical plane, in this era of intangibles being much more worthwhile than tangibles & physical assets, it is thus the ‘invisible influences’ that should be given more weightage than the ‘visible influences’.
So what about the influential ones who may influence the course of many a cause, culture and country, but not be “visible” to the world (read “global media”!) simply because they’re too busy “influencing” lives and making a difference to society and are not bothered about limelight, visibility and following and so will never make it to “The List”.
But, they work and toil for “causes” and not “lists”!! And I believe THEY- individually and collectively-in whichever nation of the world, are the most influential in the world because, after GOD, it is “they” that make the world go round.
Posted by Manisha Gupta in New Delhi, INDIA: /2.5.2008
Who’s Most Influential In The World……..?
The most “influential” in the world is off course TIME (I am NOT talking about the magazine dear!!). Time is what influences the happenings and the non-happenings in the world, influencing minds, mentality, motives and moves. Talking of the most “influential personality” in the world, having the largest “sphere of influence”-both literally and figuratively- it is off course GOD, The Almighty. He is the one who makes the world go round…… literally! He has the influence over every good or bad that happens to each creature on this globe.
But tell me, does “influential” necessarily
mean “visible”, “popular”, “famous”, “well-known”, “most seen” etc ? Then by this criteria, I believe Amitabh Bachchan and Shah Rukh Khan shouldn’t have been left out in the “TIME” list because of their magical, charismatic and “FAN”tastic influence on a global audience. They have the influence to bring tears and cheers in reel and real life to millions and millions and millions far transcending national and cultural boundaries.
On a more philosophical plane, in this era of intangibles being much more worthwhile than tangibles & physical assets, it is thus the ‘invisible influences’ that should be given more weightage than the ‘visible influences’.
So what about the influential ones who may influence the course of many a cause, culture and country, but not be “visible” to the world (read “global media”!) simply because they’re too busy “influencing” lives and making a difference to society and are not bothered about limelight, visibility and following and so will never make it to “The List”.
But, they work and toil for “causes” and not “lists”!! And I believe THEY- individually and collectively-in whichever nation of the world, are the most influential in the world because, after GOD, it is “they” that make the world go round.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Gr..e.a..t Journey!
Just back from a “Broken Path” journey (instead of a path breaking one…!!) ! though ofcourse it was an absolutely BACK-breaking one!
Had gone to home state Uttarakhand (now) and hometown Dehradun.
All the romance and excitement associated with this regular journey of mine evaporated the moment we glided past the CWG Village area, and a little more of Delhi after that. We were in for a rude shock the very second we crossed the Delhi Border into UP. It felt as if suddenly someone had thrown us like a “discus” from the great Commonwealth Games host city of the “Shining India” only to land with a jerk into the maze of potholes called ROAD surrounded by the likes of stinking open garbage, broken railings, broken path, and terrible mess of a “Dhool Bhara Bharat” which we thought no more existed.
The whole- read (pot)hole- journey broke everything….. from hope to heart to thoughts to bones to body!
My neck, my back, in fact my whole body hurts & aches…. OUCH!! But much more than that hurts and aches my little heart!! What a shame. The ‘once upon a time’ good state and city is in such a mess.
The road connectivity to a great tourist destination like Uttarakhand is so un-travellable. When someone like me, who belongs to the state and has spent most my life there, now vows never to go there by road again, what a first time tourist will feel is surely guessable.
The Delhi-Dehradun road (except for the surprisingly smooth and perfect glide through the Muzaffarnagar bypass road) at present presents an extremely sorry and embarrassing “state” of affairs. This broken and potholed road will put even the “Sachin Tichkules” (character played by Akshaya Kumar in “Khatta Meetha”) of India to shame.
And the condition of the once great Dun city is still worse. Garbage lined by the sides of the road (even in the best localities/areas), no traffic sense, terribly broken roads …….and what not. To add to all this, Dehradun seems to be bursting at the seams too. The city infrastructure is quite in an urban mess!
But inspite of all this, I still got to learn a very valuable lesson of “The Greatest Journey”- the journey of life- from this unpleasant journey. Just like the small patch of lovely road of the Muzaffarnagar by-pass right in the middle of this otherwise terrible journey, so also is it in life.
The whole journey of life is but a bumpy road except for a brief smooth patch somewhere in between. And in the entire life, perhaps it is only at this particular stage, where one needs to enjoy and make the best of it! Only hope we can see and recognize that smooth patch in life when it comes!!
Happy travelling!!
Best/MG
Had gone to home state Uttarakhand (now) and hometown Dehradun.
All the romance and excitement associated with this regular journey of mine evaporated the moment we glided past the CWG Village area, and a little more of Delhi after that. We were in for a rude shock the very second we crossed the Delhi Border into UP. It felt as if suddenly someone had thrown us like a “discus” from the great Commonwealth Games host city of the “Shining India” only to land with a jerk into the maze of potholes called ROAD surrounded by the likes of stinking open garbage, broken railings, broken path, and terrible mess of a “Dhool Bhara Bharat” which we thought no more existed.
The whole- read (pot)hole- journey broke everything….. from hope to heart to thoughts to bones to body!
My neck, my back, in fact my whole body hurts & aches…. OUCH!! But much more than that hurts and aches my little heart!! What a shame. The ‘once upon a time’ good state and city is in such a mess.
The road connectivity to a great tourist destination like Uttarakhand is so un-travellable. When someone like me, who belongs to the state and has spent most my life there, now vows never to go there by road again, what a first time tourist will feel is surely guessable.
The Delhi-Dehradun road (except for the surprisingly smooth and perfect glide through the Muzaffarnagar bypass road) at present presents an extremely sorry and embarrassing “state” of affairs. This broken and potholed road will put even the “Sachin Tichkules” (character played by Akshaya Kumar in “Khatta Meetha”) of India to shame.
And the condition of the once great Dun city is still worse. Garbage lined by the sides of the road (even in the best localities/areas), no traffic sense, terribly broken roads …….and what not. To add to all this, Dehradun seems to be bursting at the seams too. The city infrastructure is quite in an urban mess!
But inspite of all this, I still got to learn a very valuable lesson of “The Greatest Journey”- the journey of life- from this unpleasant journey. Just like the small patch of lovely road of the Muzaffarnagar by-pass right in the middle of this otherwise terrible journey, so also is it in life.
The whole journey of life is but a bumpy road except for a brief smooth patch somewhere in between. And in the entire life, perhaps it is only at this particular stage, where one needs to enjoy and make the best of it! Only hope we can see and recognize that smooth patch in life when it comes!!
Happy travelling!!
Best/MG
Friday, October 8, 2010
Bad to be Good??
Hi everyone!
have been watching this promo of "Crook" on TV everyday where Imran Hashmi says very confidently "It is Good to be Bad...".
well, really haven't tried that but surely, experiences and observations have taught me one thing. it is definitely Bad....to be Good in these times!!
//Best//MG
have been watching this promo of "Crook" on TV everyday where Imran Hashmi says very confidently "It is Good to be Bad...".
well, really haven't tried that but surely, experiences and observations have taught me one thing. it is definitely Bad....to be Good in these times!!
//Best//MG
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Bonds Today !
was just thinking about relationships in this day & age and here's my article published in the daily "Central Chronicle" on June 21,2008.
2years old article, but seems quite valid even today!!
Bonds Today !
Manisha Gupta
Relationships are not attractive and artificially scented crisp paper flowers that you can make within seconds and put up in your drawing room. They are soft, tender, inherently perfumed and beautiful real flowers that you nurture in the garden of your life. It takes ages to build them into genuine long lasting ones.
Relationships are neither about just wishing, calling & sending cards on Father’s day, Valentine’s day, grandparents day, this day that day. Nor are friendships just about sending, emailing or sms-ing readymade, cut-paste, “impressive” messages on friendship day or world friendship week etc. Nor are they just about exchanging friendship-bands or about sharing good food, good wine and good times. They’re much much more.
Bonds are not about just calling up your mother from the U.S or the U.K on the second Sunday of every May to wish her happy Mother’s day. Nor are they about landing in India once every few years to either solemnize or legalize as per Indian traditions, your already long live-in relationships, just to get all relatives to accept you and not debar you from their mental and social spaces. Neither is it about using everybody you know for your selfish motives, and never ever to someone else’s advantage or even happiness.
With alarmingly increasing incidents of people killing their own family or relatives, comes forth the fact that relationships & family bonds are now already on a downhill running into the sea of terrible trouble that awaits Indian society. The once strong mountain our traditional norms is probably now weakened with repeated attempts of various negative forces within ourselves, with our cultural values having been washed down in the incessantly pouring rain of aping every other culture.
The west is on its way to learning everything from yoga to spirituality to vegetarianism, becoming more sensitive, while we Indians don’t look back even once to what our ancient glorious past traditions taught us. We don’t value our value systems anymore and so family systems and bonding have undergone a tremendous change in our society. We no more want to spend time & emotions in building long lasting deep relationships. We are living in an era of quick-fixes, fast foods and instant relief & gratifications. We decide to love or marry someone within no time, get married and then within no time file for divorce or quicker still, kill the spouse and marry another person who’d entered into our life. Such quick decision making powers and quicker disposal of lover or friend or relative sure makes us very “competent” to live in this fast paced world.
We are no more forgiving or sacrificing but would do anything for giving our selfish gains a boost and wouldn’t mind sacrificing even the lives of our nearest & dearest ones for attaining any selfish motive. We’ve become very self-centered and forgotten the tenet of keeping oneself last. We begin and end at the “self”.
That’s what relationships and bonds have come to!
2years old article, but seems quite valid even today!!
Bonds Today !
Manisha Gupta
Relationships are not attractive and artificially scented crisp paper flowers that you can make within seconds and put up in your drawing room. They are soft, tender, inherently perfumed and beautiful real flowers that you nurture in the garden of your life. It takes ages to build them into genuine long lasting ones.
Relationships are neither about just wishing, calling & sending cards on Father’s day, Valentine’s day, grandparents day, this day that day. Nor are friendships just about sending, emailing or sms-ing readymade, cut-paste, “impressive” messages on friendship day or world friendship week etc. Nor are they just about exchanging friendship-bands or about sharing good food, good wine and good times. They’re much much more.
Bonds are not about just calling up your mother from the U.S or the U.K on the second Sunday of every May to wish her happy Mother’s day. Nor are they about landing in India once every few years to either solemnize or legalize as per Indian traditions, your already long live-in relationships, just to get all relatives to accept you and not debar you from their mental and social spaces. Neither is it about using everybody you know for your selfish motives, and never ever to someone else’s advantage or even happiness.
With alarmingly increasing incidents of people killing their own family or relatives, comes forth the fact that relationships & family bonds are now already on a downhill running into the sea of terrible trouble that awaits Indian society. The once strong mountain our traditional norms is probably now weakened with repeated attempts of various negative forces within ourselves, with our cultural values having been washed down in the incessantly pouring rain of aping every other culture.
The west is on its way to learning everything from yoga to spirituality to vegetarianism, becoming more sensitive, while we Indians don’t look back even once to what our ancient glorious past traditions taught us. We don’t value our value systems anymore and so family systems and bonding have undergone a tremendous change in our society. We no more want to spend time & emotions in building long lasting deep relationships. We are living in an era of quick-fixes, fast foods and instant relief & gratifications. We decide to love or marry someone within no time, get married and then within no time file for divorce or quicker still, kill the spouse and marry another person who’d entered into our life. Such quick decision making powers and quicker disposal of lover or friend or relative sure makes us very “competent” to live in this fast paced world.
We are no more forgiving or sacrificing but would do anything for giving our selfish gains a boost and wouldn’t mind sacrificing even the lives of our nearest & dearest ones for attaining any selfish motive. We’ve become very self-centered and forgotten the tenet of keeping oneself last. We begin and end at the “self”.
That’s what relationships and bonds have come to!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Outrightly RUDE and Misbehaved Delhi
Manners & Etiquettes……………..in Delhi? No way!
Read in the news that Dr Kiran Bedi has just come out with a new book, this one on Manners & Etiquettes, in view of the upcoming Common Wealth Games. I just hope
Delhi people WILL learn something. Though ofcourse, I doubt it.
Had gone to visit my Father-in-law at a Heart hospital yesterday, where he is admitted in the ICU. Forget about the cleanliness & hygiene part, here I’ll just refer to the behavior, manners & etiquettes part. My Brother-in-law just went to ask one of the Doctors there regarding something concerning his father’s treatment and you won’t believe the way that Doctor shouted an irritating “KYAAAAAAAAA……………” in response. Ridiculous! We don’t even talk to our servants like this. And this is how a Doctor at a HEART hospital treats his patient’s kin??? Come on DOCTORS, be PATIENT and for God’s sake have a HEART. And if you get time, do go through some book on manners & etiquettes.
Another example of rude behaviour came my way when we’d gone to the Lajpat Nnagar “Home Saaz” Furnishings showroom a few weeks back. The sales woman at the furnishings fabric counter was so outrightly rude, arrogant and misbehaved that she made us feel as if we as customers had gone to ask her for a favour. She didn’t know how to behave. Simple.
Now if a customer is treated badly in such a big showroom, what do you think we can expect at small shops. No wonder in Foreign countries when you go shopping, you feel good and you can go to the market even if you don’t want to buy anything. But in Delhi, I guess, one goes just because one needs to buy certain stuff. Thanks to some of the misbehaved people behind the counter.
So whether events like CWG come or not, I strongly feel Delhi needs to undergo training on Manners & Etiquettes anyway. People in this rude city MUST learn how to behave!!
Read in the news that Dr Kiran Bedi has just come out with a new book, this one on Manners & Etiquettes, in view of the upcoming Common Wealth Games. I just hope
Delhi people WILL learn something. Though ofcourse, I doubt it.
Had gone to visit my Father-in-law at a Heart hospital yesterday, where he is admitted in the ICU. Forget about the cleanliness & hygiene part, here I’ll just refer to the behavior, manners & etiquettes part. My Brother-in-law just went to ask one of the Doctors there regarding something concerning his father’s treatment and you won’t believe the way that Doctor shouted an irritating “KYAAAAAAAAA……………” in response. Ridiculous! We don’t even talk to our servants like this. And this is how a Doctor at a HEART hospital treats his patient’s kin??? Come on DOCTORS, be PATIENT and for God’s sake have a HEART. And if you get time, do go through some book on manners & etiquettes.
Another example of rude behaviour came my way when we’d gone to the Lajpat Nnagar “Home Saaz” Furnishings showroom a few weeks back. The sales woman at the furnishings fabric counter was so outrightly rude, arrogant and misbehaved that she made us feel as if we as customers had gone to ask her for a favour. She didn’t know how to behave. Simple.
Now if a customer is treated badly in such a big showroom, what do you think we can expect at small shops. No wonder in Foreign countries when you go shopping, you feel good and you can go to the market even if you don’t want to buy anything. But in Delhi, I guess, one goes just because one needs to buy certain stuff. Thanks to some of the misbehaved people behind the counter.
So whether events like CWG come or not, I strongly feel Delhi needs to undergo training on Manners & Etiquettes anyway. People in this rude city MUST learn how to behave!!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Messy Delhi & CWG
Hi !
Back again after a break!
And in light of the upcoming Common Wealth Games next month, here’s something……
Is Delhi Clean Enough for CWG 2010?
Manisha Gupta
With Common Wealth Games barely two weeks away, shouldn’t we Indians be aware of hygiene & cleanliness? We’re not unaware of these trivia but there’s a catch. Being educated and hygienic is one thing but keeping our place clean, in the Indian context, has a very different connotation. Our concept of cleanliness is……. cleaning our place by throwing our garbage at someone else’s door! Almost always, garbage removed from one place lands up at another. We don’t want to project a dirty Delhi in October.
The other day, I saw this woman sitting beside me in the bus, by the window, busy chewing “bhutta”. Soon she finished it and guess where the stub went? Right out the window. Mind you, she was not the uneducated types. No. she spoke reasonably good English, dressed neatly and wore the latest hairstyle. While I was contemplating reacting, I was in for more. The quick and easy disposal of the stub had given her a brain-wave. She thought of utilizing her time. She opened her reasonably expensive handbag and started throwing all unwanted articles. Old bus tickets, chocolate wrappers, unwanted bills and cash-memos, empty Bindi packets, used refills et al. Obviously all this was being flung straight out of the window only to probably land on some pedestrian’s head. But she had cleaned her handbag, rearranged the remaining contents and seemed satisfied.
Other habits have worse consequences. The biggest bane being ….the spit. Whether ordinary or “paan” laden, it is so…. unhygienic, disgusting and insensitive of people to just point their mouth in any direction and shoot…I mean spit. Do they ever realize that their spit laden “jet” may land on some fellow being? Some people even blow their nose and send the contents flying in whichever direction, least bothered about where it is going to hit or land. They have performed their “cleaning act”. While walking on the road, especially during rains, you have to dodge from one spot to another.
Here a spit there a fresh “paan” stain
Here a dog shit there an open drain.
Walking becomes more of a fox-trot, done with your handbag and umbrella in one hand, groceries in the other and lifting your sari a little with whichever hand will oblige, and then start……a step this side and another that side.
Another example of our cleanliness is when we walk our pets. We don’t want our doggy doing potty anywhere near our house. Neither do we want it done in our campus. So we take it to the neighbour’s compound wall or the neighbouring buildings. We coolly smile and look the other side while our doggy does his bit by the neighbour’s wall. We all know we do it.
But there’s no dearth of solutions. During my Japan stay, I noticed that when a Japanese takes his dog for a walk, he carries a specially designed bag. When the pet has answered his nature’s call the master cleans the mess and disposes it off in the nearest trash-bin. No wonder that country is almost antiseptically clean. So is Singapore. You don’t find filth, garbage, spit or dog-shit anywhere in the city. Reason- strict laws and stricter enforcement! Try spitting or throwing garbage on roads or public places. You’re sure to be fined. Ditto with Bhutan. They make sure their country remains spick and span. And for that these countries strictly enforce laws and make citizens abide by them even if it requires fine or punishment.
With Common wealth Games just round the corner and our “Dilli” still dirty and messy, isn’t it high time we emulate best practices of other countries and inculcate some sense and discipline in this city? Patna in a “Clean Bihar” campaign has started imposing fines for littering, urinating and throwing garbage in public places. What about the CWG host city? Only hoardings and ads won’t serve the purpose. Each citizen has to work towards achieving it. But for that imposing fine or punishment on offenders is of utmost importance.
I really wish we could become strict followers of discipline and rule and religious abiders of law just as they do in Singapore. Only then can we maintain our Delhi which is “our commonwealth”!
Back again after a break!
And in light of the upcoming Common Wealth Games next month, here’s something……
Is Delhi Clean Enough for CWG 2010?
Manisha Gupta
With Common Wealth Games barely two weeks away, shouldn’t we Indians be aware of hygiene & cleanliness? We’re not unaware of these trivia but there’s a catch. Being educated and hygienic is one thing but keeping our place clean, in the Indian context, has a very different connotation. Our concept of cleanliness is……. cleaning our place by throwing our garbage at someone else’s door! Almost always, garbage removed from one place lands up at another. We don’t want to project a dirty Delhi in October.
The other day, I saw this woman sitting beside me in the bus, by the window, busy chewing “bhutta”. Soon she finished it and guess where the stub went? Right out the window. Mind you, she was not the uneducated types. No. she spoke reasonably good English, dressed neatly and wore the latest hairstyle. While I was contemplating reacting, I was in for more. The quick and easy disposal of the stub had given her a brain-wave. She thought of utilizing her time. She opened her reasonably expensive handbag and started throwing all unwanted articles. Old bus tickets, chocolate wrappers, unwanted bills and cash-memos, empty Bindi packets, used refills et al. Obviously all this was being flung straight out of the window only to probably land on some pedestrian’s head. But she had cleaned her handbag, rearranged the remaining contents and seemed satisfied.
Other habits have worse consequences. The biggest bane being ….the spit. Whether ordinary or “paan” laden, it is so…. unhygienic, disgusting and insensitive of people to just point their mouth in any direction and shoot…I mean spit. Do they ever realize that their spit laden “jet” may land on some fellow being? Some people even blow their nose and send the contents flying in whichever direction, least bothered about where it is going to hit or land. They have performed their “cleaning act”. While walking on the road, especially during rains, you have to dodge from one spot to another.
Here a spit there a fresh “paan” stain
Here a dog shit there an open drain.
Walking becomes more of a fox-trot, done with your handbag and umbrella in one hand, groceries in the other and lifting your sari a little with whichever hand will oblige, and then start……a step this side and another that side.
Another example of our cleanliness is when we walk our pets. We don’t want our doggy doing potty anywhere near our house. Neither do we want it done in our campus. So we take it to the neighbour’s compound wall or the neighbouring buildings. We coolly smile and look the other side while our doggy does his bit by the neighbour’s wall. We all know we do it.
But there’s no dearth of solutions. During my Japan stay, I noticed that when a Japanese takes his dog for a walk, he carries a specially designed bag. When the pet has answered his nature’s call the master cleans the mess and disposes it off in the nearest trash-bin. No wonder that country is almost antiseptically clean. So is Singapore. You don’t find filth, garbage, spit or dog-shit anywhere in the city. Reason- strict laws and stricter enforcement! Try spitting or throwing garbage on roads or public places. You’re sure to be fined. Ditto with Bhutan. They make sure their country remains spick and span. And for that these countries strictly enforce laws and make citizens abide by them even if it requires fine or punishment.
With Common wealth Games just round the corner and our “Dilli” still dirty and messy, isn’t it high time we emulate best practices of other countries and inculcate some sense and discipline in this city? Patna in a “Clean Bihar” campaign has started imposing fines for littering, urinating and throwing garbage in public places. What about the CWG host city? Only hoardings and ads won’t serve the purpose. Each citizen has to work towards achieving it. But for that imposing fine or punishment on offenders is of utmost importance.
I really wish we could become strict followers of discipline and rule and religious abiders of law just as they do in Singapore. Only then can we maintain our Delhi which is “our commonwealth”!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Contradictory Behaviour !!
A very valid point raised, Aparajita!!
indeed, if THIS is "Development", then do we really need it??
because, development, as one understands, must take one forward, towards progress and betterment of society. and one thing that strikes me about the current scenario in India is that people's behaviours are somewhat contradictory in themselves. or should one say that the collective trend of our society is contradictory. in the sense that, on the one hand, it is being pulled towards western culture norms and materialistic inclinations, but at the same time, there is a seemingly vast increase in spiritual trends. atleast, that's what one would conclude from the rising numbers present in spiritual classes/functions/affiliations.
now isn't that surprising???
indeed, if THIS is "Development", then do we really need it??
because, development, as one understands, must take one forward, towards progress and betterment of society. and one thing that strikes me about the current scenario in India is that people's behaviours are somewhat contradictory in themselves. or should one say that the collective trend of our society is contradictory. in the sense that, on the one hand, it is being pulled towards western culture norms and materialistic inclinations, but at the same time, there is a seemingly vast increase in spiritual trends. atleast, that's what one would conclude from the rising numbers present in spiritual classes/functions/affiliations.
now isn't that surprising???
Monday, August 9, 2010
Delhi ........
there's another aspect of Delhi that baffles me! it is the blatant denial or un- acknowledgement of relationships. what i mean by this is that Delhi, as I have been noticing over the years, has a culture of non-recognition of “recognizables’.
what i mean simply is that people, whom you know and who know you, have the ability to acknowledge or not acknowledge this relationship depending on the circumstances. People may just look through you and pass you by without so much as a “HI” when they don’t need anything from you but the very same people will do everything and indulge in talk, even if you seem least interested, and be sweet, when they want something from you. The salutations (or non-salutations) depend on their need of you.
Shocking & disgusting behaviour! What’s worse is the fact that children, who ofcourse are very quick learners, are learning this trait very early on in life in this city. They wish a “good morning, good afternoon” or a “Namaste” depending on various factors. And when they don’t think it is required, they simply walk past you. What a pity! Children are being taught manners/etiquettes not for the sake of respecting somebody, or showing decency, but to use these gestures as tools to get work done.
Can’t imagine what values our children will absorb from such a selfish environment and attitudes!
what i mean simply is that people, whom you know and who know you, have the ability to acknowledge or not acknowledge this relationship depending on the circumstances. People may just look through you and pass you by without so much as a “HI” when they don’t need anything from you but the very same people will do everything and indulge in talk, even if you seem least interested, and be sweet, when they want something from you. The salutations (or non-salutations) depend on their need of you.
Shocking & disgusting behaviour! What’s worse is the fact that children, who ofcourse are very quick learners, are learning this trait very early on in life in this city. They wish a “good morning, good afternoon” or a “Namaste” depending on various factors. And when they don’t think it is required, they simply walk past you. What a pity! Children are being taught manners/etiquettes not for the sake of respecting somebody, or showing decency, but to use these gestures as tools to get work done.
Can’t imagine what values our children will absorb from such a selfish environment and attitudes!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Delhi means...........
Had read somewhere that last year the authorities had decided to teach good behaviour to the Rude Delhi, in light of the CommonWealth Games, due soon. that reminded me of one of my articles published in the Tabloid "METRO NOW" on 14th May, 2008. i wonder how much of our Delhi has really improved!
Cultural Capital Lacks “Culture”
Manisha Gupta
Living in Delhi, the so called “Cultural Capital” of India, can be a nightmare to some people’s cultural sensitivities. There seems to be a total lack of culture in this city. Here politeness is taken to be a sign of weakness and nice behavior a sign of lack of power or control. There is so much aggression in society at all levels and that too on the side of the wrong doer.
For example the milkman who’ll deliver the milk somewhere at 12 noon instead of 6 or 7 in the morning and still misbehave, or the “Autowallah” or “Taxiwallah” who’ll charge you any exorbitant amount and be rude on top of that, or the shopkeeper who’ll make the customer feel so inferior and dependent with his rudeness and aggression. What these people forget is it is the customer category which gives them their business.
Even otherwise, there’s no respect for anything or anybody left in the city and anyone can get away with any behavior. Everybody seems to be just waiting for the slightest opportunity to insult or misbehave with somebody. That kind of gives them a high.
Where is this trend in society going to lead us? There are certain societal norms especially in the context of Indian cultural traditions. The way people are going, throwing away all ‘cultural sensitivity & traditional norms’ in the name of modernization, our society is already in quite a sea of ‘cultural trouble’. In fact the west is imbibing our good cultural norms in many cases while we live in a ‘cultural confusion’.
Cultural Capital Lacks “Culture”
Manisha Gupta
Living in Delhi, the so called “Cultural Capital” of India, can be a nightmare to some people’s cultural sensitivities. There seems to be a total lack of culture in this city. Here politeness is taken to be a sign of weakness and nice behavior a sign of lack of power or control. There is so much aggression in society at all levels and that too on the side of the wrong doer.
For example the milkman who’ll deliver the milk somewhere at 12 noon instead of 6 or 7 in the morning and still misbehave, or the “Autowallah” or “Taxiwallah” who’ll charge you any exorbitant amount and be rude on top of that, or the shopkeeper who’ll make the customer feel so inferior and dependent with his rudeness and aggression. What these people forget is it is the customer category which gives them their business.
Even otherwise, there’s no respect for anything or anybody left in the city and anyone can get away with any behavior. Everybody seems to be just waiting for the slightest opportunity to insult or misbehave with somebody. That kind of gives them a high.
Where is this trend in society going to lead us? There are certain societal norms especially in the context of Indian cultural traditions. The way people are going, throwing away all ‘cultural sensitivity & traditional norms’ in the name of modernization, our society is already in quite a sea of ‘cultural trouble’. In fact the west is imbibing our good cultural norms in many cases while we live in a ‘cultural confusion’.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Sweet Comment on "Friendship Day"
Dear Atulya
that was a real sweet comment of yours!
but more importantly, it is the relevant friendship day incident that you've narrated, which draws one's attention.
and still more important or most important is your understanding of the whole issue, which you've rightly written "one should be a true friend and not for one's benefit". also you've given just the right message for Friendship day to the world - "one Shouldn't USE friends".
Great!i hope this world has more people like you.
that was a real sweet comment of yours!
but more importantly, it is the relevant friendship day incident that you've narrated, which draws one's attention.
and still more important or most important is your understanding of the whole issue, which you've rightly written "one should be a true friend and not for one's benefit". also you've given just the right message for Friendship day to the world - "one Shouldn't USE friends".
Great!i hope this world has more people like you.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Of Friend “SHIPS” !!
some thoughts on Friendship Day...!
Reading “Rent A friend” news where lonely souls can “hire” a friend if and when they need one, made me wonder what friendships mean these days. They aren’t long term any more. This age is about quick fixes, fast foods and faster relationships. Nor are they about emotional give and take. I remember when our teacher in Nainital asked us to collect writings on “friendship” for our scrap-book. I’d found a lovely poem by some great man whose name I should be excused for not remembering over the years, but these initial lines I do.
“It never is a one-way traffic
To friendship that we treasure
There is give as well as take
Within the fullest measure”
These describe and sum-up the phenomenon completely, giving the essence and entirety of friendship. If it’s one-way, it simply doesn’t exist, is the fundamental truth.
That was then! Over the years the dilution inherent in the environment has percolated to this relationship too. After SRK’s mega hit “Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai”, friendship has taken a turn and is more about friendship “days” and “bands”. The depth of relationship is perhaps measured by the quality of the band. In this era of quick changes in climate, environment, economy, friends too seem to be following suit.
The age-old concept of friends being likeminded people with similar value- systems and morals has undergone a tremendous change. Now, even value-systems in the so called “seat of cultural values” that was once India, everything is susceptible to malfunction, right from machinery to humans to wardrobes. So much so that we’re undergoing a serious and severe ‘Indian values malfunction’. Earlier, meaning and depth of friendship, automatic core feelings of giving, sharing, “being there”, genuine concern and even sacrifice existed. Today it’s different. “A friend in need is a friend to be avoided” said Lord Samuel and this is how it is now. Then friends were probably made for life even though no ceremonial vows are taken to enter into this relation. There were no hidden agendas or motives to “be friends”. Friends were treated well and one wouldn’t ever trample on the dignity, self respect, feelings or emotions of friends.
But change, as they say, is inevitable. Friendship then was about “bOnds” but now it’s more about “bAnds”!! Nowadays friendships are made with selfish motives and personal agendas. People may not be at the same wavelength or emotional level, but still make friends with someone because they want to use him, his position or his contacts. Such relationships aren’t long lasting. In some cases they probably last as long as the Velcro or hook of the friendship band! Specially the younger generation is quite “practical” and doesn’t like to waste time or tears over bygones. They can say hi & bye quite soon with very little tolerance or patience in between. They neither worry nor cry over lost friends, but move on and start emailing or sms-ing the new one. With this renting facility, guess it will just be “have money, can hire” kinds with no commitment whatsoever.
In others friendships may last as long as professional interests of both are intertwined and mutual benefits achieved. “You scratch my back I scratch yours”, simple. I don’t know how many of you noticed this depiction in OSO’s title song, when SRK and Govinda enacted it.
Now, friends can be the nicest and sweetest people on earth when they need you yet are capable of looking through you and walking past without so much as even the slightest sign of recognition or the blink of an eye. Beware of “fair weather friends”.
Such is the status of friend “SHIPS” today. They are perhaps “ships” with a fate worse than that of the Titanic. They have no solid anchor in the form of genuine bonding. My dear friends just remember “bOnds” may last longer than a life time even without fevicol but “bAnds” of friendships may give in, inspite of fevicol, at the very first shower rain. So don’t let your friend “SHIP” sink anywhere else apart from your heart!!
For, as someone said “People walk in and out of your life all the time but friends leave their footprints…… in your heart……forever!”
Reading “Rent A friend” news where lonely souls can “hire” a friend if and when they need one, made me wonder what friendships mean these days. They aren’t long term any more. This age is about quick fixes, fast foods and faster relationships. Nor are they about emotional give and take. I remember when our teacher in Nainital asked us to collect writings on “friendship” for our scrap-book. I’d found a lovely poem by some great man whose name I should be excused for not remembering over the years, but these initial lines I do.
“It never is a one-way traffic
To friendship that we treasure
There is give as well as take
Within the fullest measure”
These describe and sum-up the phenomenon completely, giving the essence and entirety of friendship. If it’s one-way, it simply doesn’t exist, is the fundamental truth.
That was then! Over the years the dilution inherent in the environment has percolated to this relationship too. After SRK’s mega hit “Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai”, friendship has taken a turn and is more about friendship “days” and “bands”. The depth of relationship is perhaps measured by the quality of the band. In this era of quick changes in climate, environment, economy, friends too seem to be following suit.
The age-old concept of friends being likeminded people with similar value- systems and morals has undergone a tremendous change. Now, even value-systems in the so called “seat of cultural values” that was once India, everything is susceptible to malfunction, right from machinery to humans to wardrobes. So much so that we’re undergoing a serious and severe ‘Indian values malfunction’. Earlier, meaning and depth of friendship, automatic core feelings of giving, sharing, “being there”, genuine concern and even sacrifice existed. Today it’s different. “A friend in need is a friend to be avoided” said Lord Samuel and this is how it is now. Then friends were probably made for life even though no ceremonial vows are taken to enter into this relation. There were no hidden agendas or motives to “be friends”. Friends were treated well and one wouldn’t ever trample on the dignity, self respect, feelings or emotions of friends.
But change, as they say, is inevitable. Friendship then was about “bOnds” but now it’s more about “bAnds”!! Nowadays friendships are made with selfish motives and personal agendas. People may not be at the same wavelength or emotional level, but still make friends with someone because they want to use him, his position or his contacts. Such relationships aren’t long lasting. In some cases they probably last as long as the Velcro or hook of the friendship band! Specially the younger generation is quite “practical” and doesn’t like to waste time or tears over bygones. They can say hi & bye quite soon with very little tolerance or patience in between. They neither worry nor cry over lost friends, but move on and start emailing or sms-ing the new one. With this renting facility, guess it will just be “have money, can hire” kinds with no commitment whatsoever.
In others friendships may last as long as professional interests of both are intertwined and mutual benefits achieved. “You scratch my back I scratch yours”, simple. I don’t know how many of you noticed this depiction in OSO’s title song, when SRK and Govinda enacted it.
Now, friends can be the nicest and sweetest people on earth when they need you yet are capable of looking through you and walking past without so much as even the slightest sign of recognition or the blink of an eye. Beware of “fair weather friends”.
Such is the status of friend “SHIPS” today. They are perhaps “ships” with a fate worse than that of the Titanic. They have no solid anchor in the form of genuine bonding. My dear friends just remember “bOnds” may last longer than a life time even without fevicol but “bAnds” of friendships may give in, inspite of fevicol, at the very first shower rain. So don’t let your friend “SHIP” sink anywhere else apart from your heart!!
For, as someone said “People walk in and out of your life all the time but friends leave their footprints…… in your heart……forever!”
Friday, July 30, 2010
“Gandhigiri vs. Dadagiri”
saw "Lage Raho Munna Bhai" once again 2 days back. and remembered my reaction of the day i'd first seen it. here's what i wrote more than 2 years ago but it didn't see the light of day (didn't get published). so "Gandhigiri" never worked for me. anyway. happy reading!
“Lage Raho Munna Bhai……” bagging national awards had brought back memories of the film and how it seemed to affect people when they saw it. Our “Father of the Nation” had suddenly become the most talked about phenomenon, leaving “Globalization”, “Knowledge-Economies” and “Terrorism” in the background. For those unaware of who we’re talking about, it’s the Mahatma- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
Gandhi had assumed proportions larger than ever before and popularity out-shining most famous film-stars. One never heard so much about him all these years and such attention paid to his teachings or ‘non-violent-truths’. In fact he never made so much news, hogging headlines in newspapers and TV-channels. This was more than evident on 2nd October of the year of release of the film. We’ve probably never had so… much respect being paid to him, by so… many people. And credit for all this ‘Gandhi fervour & fever’ goes to “Lage Raho …………. ”.
Well, please…. ‘Carry on Munnabhai’, because you’ve created more awareness on the Mahatma than any book, film or material on him ever. You’ve made him ‘common man’s ideal’ . “Gandhigiri”- Gandhian way of life - has really caught on. People from all walks of life, all strata of society and all age-groups are emulating this. “Gandhigiri” seemed to have become the latest fashion in India today. Whether it works or not, atleast people are ready to try it out. one example being the Delhi cops giving gifts to traffic rule defaulters.
Well, that’s a welcome change in mindset trend. But the big question is – does “Gandhigiri” really work? If it does, whom does it work with? Would somebody actually stop spitting “paan” on his neighbour’s wall if he was made to “feel”? This depends on two things- first, the wrongdoer has a heart and will eventually “feel” and he also has a conscience to make him “guilty”. Subject to these, there’s a chance of his behaviour changing.
My experiences portray it just never worked. It didn’t work with the lady in our building in Jaipur, who kept snatching my “bai”. Neither does it work with servants whom I am good to, help in their need and pay well. It never worked with the society-maintenance body in the pink city, whom we paid a hefty monthly charge. We kept telling them to get our corridors cleaned properly everyday and get our flat’s inherent faulty switchover repaired. They came, they saw and did nothing except religiously sending maintenance bills, which went on increasing further. It doesn’t even work with siblings who you let take your small possessions, thinking these are stupid things, because their “Dadagiri” graduates to taking bigger things, firmly believing that you “won’t really mind”. “Gandhigiri” or politeness doesn’t work with birds or animals either. My experience with pigeons, who continue using my nice balcony as ‘their maternity ward’ just because unlike others who had no qualms about having their eggs thrown into the garbage, I’d patiently wait till their little ones flew off before I’d get the mess cleared up, shows. My repeated shooing away has little impact and they continue to litter my balconies.
Neither does it work with numerous people who cheat, misbehave, pose threats to our security and peace, malign our culture, demean our values, who destroy our heritage having no passion for our traditions. “Gandhigiri” doesn’t and will not work with them. You must have a heart and a conscience to respond to simple principles of great men. If you do, you’ll “feel” others’ pain and “feel guilty” on doing wrong. In that case, you don’t need to be taught this message. And please don’t expect people to be sending roses to everybody because these days, nothing comes cheap. If rose demand goes up with more & more people taking to this fad, rose prices will rise further and we’ll need roses to be sent to the “Rosewallahs” too. The director could afford it, everybody can’t. So let’s find a practical solution.
Why is there so much death, destruction & violence in the land of the Mahatma?
With all those with no spare time to look for their hearts and listen to their conscience, only “Dadagiri” works. In a city like “Dilli”, logon mein “dil” hi nahin bacha! The very fact that Gandhian principles to be relevant today needed the suffix “giri” to make them contemporary, we need to come out with a formula which works with people without a heart and a conscience. They’ll go on cheating, looting, killing, destroying peace and threatening security if you keep tolerating.
Time has been witness to this fact even in Gandhi’s era, for what else was evident in the gruesome ‘violent-end of the non-violent Mahatma’!
“Lage Raho Munna Bhai……” bagging national awards had brought back memories of the film and how it seemed to affect people when they saw it. Our “Father of the Nation” had suddenly become the most talked about phenomenon, leaving “Globalization”, “Knowledge-Economies” and “Terrorism” in the background. For those unaware of who we’re talking about, it’s the Mahatma- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
Gandhi had assumed proportions larger than ever before and popularity out-shining most famous film-stars. One never heard so much about him all these years and such attention paid to his teachings or ‘non-violent-truths’. In fact he never made so much news, hogging headlines in newspapers and TV-channels. This was more than evident on 2nd October of the year of release of the film. We’ve probably never had so… much respect being paid to him, by so… many people. And credit for all this ‘Gandhi fervour & fever’ goes to “Lage Raho …………. ”.
Well, please…. ‘Carry on Munnabhai’, because you’ve created more awareness on the Mahatma than any book, film or material on him ever. You’ve made him ‘common man’s ideal’ . “Gandhigiri”- Gandhian way of life - has really caught on. People from all walks of life, all strata of society and all age-groups are emulating this. “Gandhigiri” seemed to have become the latest fashion in India today. Whether it works or not, atleast people are ready to try it out. one example being the Delhi cops giving gifts to traffic rule defaulters.
Well, that’s a welcome change in mindset trend. But the big question is – does “Gandhigiri” really work? If it does, whom does it work with? Would somebody actually stop spitting “paan” on his neighbour’s wall if he was made to “feel”? This depends on two things- first, the wrongdoer has a heart and will eventually “feel” and he also has a conscience to make him “guilty”. Subject to these, there’s a chance of his behaviour changing.
My experiences portray it just never worked. It didn’t work with the lady in our building in Jaipur, who kept snatching my “bai”. Neither does it work with servants whom I am good to, help in their need and pay well. It never worked with the society-maintenance body in the pink city, whom we paid a hefty monthly charge. We kept telling them to get our corridors cleaned properly everyday and get our flat’s inherent faulty switchover repaired. They came, they saw and did nothing except religiously sending maintenance bills, which went on increasing further. It doesn’t even work with siblings who you let take your small possessions, thinking these are stupid things, because their “Dadagiri” graduates to taking bigger things, firmly believing that you “won’t really mind”. “Gandhigiri” or politeness doesn’t work with birds or animals either. My experience with pigeons, who continue using my nice balcony as ‘their maternity ward’ just because unlike others who had no qualms about having their eggs thrown into the garbage, I’d patiently wait till their little ones flew off before I’d get the mess cleared up, shows. My repeated shooing away has little impact and they continue to litter my balconies.
Neither does it work with numerous people who cheat, misbehave, pose threats to our security and peace, malign our culture, demean our values, who destroy our heritage having no passion for our traditions. “Gandhigiri” doesn’t and will not work with them. You must have a heart and a conscience to respond to simple principles of great men. If you do, you’ll “feel” others’ pain and “feel guilty” on doing wrong. In that case, you don’t need to be taught this message. And please don’t expect people to be sending roses to everybody because these days, nothing comes cheap. If rose demand goes up with more & more people taking to this fad, rose prices will rise further and we’ll need roses to be sent to the “Rosewallahs” too. The director could afford it, everybody can’t. So let’s find a practical solution.
Why is there so much death, destruction & violence in the land of the Mahatma?
With all those with no spare time to look for their hearts and listen to their conscience, only “Dadagiri” works. In a city like “Dilli”, logon mein “dil” hi nahin bacha! The very fact that Gandhian principles to be relevant today needed the suffix “giri” to make them contemporary, we need to come out with a formula which works with people without a heart and a conscience. They’ll go on cheating, looting, killing, destroying peace and threatening security if you keep tolerating.
Time has been witness to this fact even in Gandhi’s era, for what else was evident in the gruesome ‘violent-end of the non-violent Mahatma’!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Blogging & Praying
Hi !
Am finally out of my writer’s block
and back to writing of the blog !
Ideas have once again begun flowing
and am now probably in the rhythm for blogging!
It suddenly strikes me that blogging is more like praying. Strange! But true all the same. You write with nobody particular in mind and you don’t know whether someone is going to read it at all and if someone does read what you write, then is he going to comment or not. Like when you pray, you just pray that God hears you but you don’t really know for sure whether He is going to and if at all He does, then whether He is going to convey his reaction to you or not. But that’s it. You just keep shooting. Into a space of nowhere and everywhere, both at the same time.
But with the passage of time, it is you yourself who takes precedence over everything. What I mean is don’t you then just write or pray because it has become a habit with you. You don’t really bother whether some reader is going to read it or not (just like you pray everyday irrespective of God hearing it or not!). also, you don’t anymore wait for comments like you stop bothering about getting a reply from the Almighty.
You write or you pray because it makes you yourself feel good. You’ve been able to come out with your thoughts (and your prayers) and put them in the massive space outside of yourself. Maybe you wanted to say those things to some special people but you realize that these days everyone is on the Net most of the time, so you too post your thoughts there where probably someone will see.
But, whichever way, it is more important for you to feel that you’ve said what was boiling inside you and needed to vapourize. Now, where it flew to or where it condensed on is not so much of an issue except that it is out of your mind space and heart space, out of your system. making more room for more thoughts to be later poured out on your blog.
That I guess is the beauty of blogging!
Am finally out of my writer’s block
and back to writing of the blog !
Ideas have once again begun flowing
and am now probably in the rhythm for blogging!
It suddenly strikes me that blogging is more like praying. Strange! But true all the same. You write with nobody particular in mind and you don’t know whether someone is going to read it at all and if someone does read what you write, then is he going to comment or not. Like when you pray, you just pray that God hears you but you don’t really know for sure whether He is going to and if at all He does, then whether He is going to convey his reaction to you or not. But that’s it. You just keep shooting. Into a space of nowhere and everywhere, both at the same time.
But with the passage of time, it is you yourself who takes precedence over everything. What I mean is don’t you then just write or pray because it has become a habit with you. You don’t really bother whether some reader is going to read it or not (just like you pray everyday irrespective of God hearing it or not!). also, you don’t anymore wait for comments like you stop bothering about getting a reply from the Almighty.
You write or you pray because it makes you yourself feel good. You’ve been able to come out with your thoughts (and your prayers) and put them in the massive space outside of yourself. Maybe you wanted to say those things to some special people but you realize that these days everyone is on the Net most of the time, so you too post your thoughts there where probably someone will see.
But, whichever way, it is more important for you to feel that you’ve said what was boiling inside you and needed to vapourize. Now, where it flew to or where it condensed on is not so much of an issue except that it is out of your mind space and heart space, out of your system. making more room for more thoughts to be later poured out on your blog.
That I guess is the beauty of blogging!
Friday, July 23, 2010
CLOSED EMOTIONS, OPEN PAGE
talking about Blogging here's something i wrote about it long back. This article was published in The Hindu on March 9, 2008. Blogging i feel is in actuality closed emotions pouring on an open page!
Closed emotions
MANISHA GUPTA
The article “Disconnected connections” (Open Page, February 3) was a true depiction of the younger generation’s mental and emotional turmoil pouring out in open forums. Stupid as it may sound, it is a most necessary human need and internal disturbances not finding an outlet may lead to serious problems. And if the outpourings do find place on social-networking or blog sites, it leads to dangerous consequences. It cuts both ways.
While there are no different reasons for youngsters’ feelings today from those in the olden days, the consequences are much more complex because today children’s level of awareness and maturity is way beyond their age. Rising expectations add to the problem.
Growing up has been pre-poned, maturity coming sooner than desired. Well, speed is not always good. Today’s generation is quite open and verbal. Shyness or hitch is now passé. Society has drastically transformed into a much more “open society.” This has positive and negative connotations.
Parents and children now share a more open relationship but still at times the former may feel uncomfortable about issues which the latter are quite at ease with, because of information overexposure and verbal and open societal systems.
Rapid transformation
Of course, the entire onus does not lie with the children. It rather is an ill-effect of the rapid transformation our society has undergone. From TV to computer and internet to modernisation to globalisation, well we can blame any or all these advancements. We have become too computerised and want instant answers. We do not have time to sit back and reflect on causes and effects and think out solutions.
Our life today is so jam-packed with “activities” that we hardly have any free time, literally “no time to stand and stare,” not even at our own family, elders and children. No time to watch them grow old or mature.
Parents are busy running the rat race to success, positions, or money or all. Most mothers are working and families nuclear. Children generally do not have anyone to monitor them apart from a “Bai” who at most can feed their stomachs but not fill their hearts with love or be an emotional pillow or mental comfort.
Keeping a diary
Acknowledge it or not, but we have always had so much in our hearts and minds that we wanted to tell somebody — parents, siblings or well meaning friends. In the event of none of these possibilities, it was our very own “diary.” We could write anything, pour out extreme anger, terrible hurt or failure or intense dejection. From our hates to our mental and emotional agonies, our dear diary bore the brunt and the weight of it all without ever betraying.
This was a very personal and secret outpouring which nobody could ever access. Blog sites are nothing but a “public avtar” of this “private diary.” All the same, it’s all about “writing” and “sharing” one’s emotional pains to move into the world of happiness.
That is it. Everyone wants someone who’ll listen to him but no one has time. Parents and children both do not have time. The easiest solution to this apparently complex problem is “finding time” by cutting down on unnecessary running around and “spending time together.”
A “heart to heart” is all that is needed to know, understand and be involved with the children in their process of emotional and physical maturity, being part of their failures and successes and mental insecurities. This will provide better solutions as well as bonding rather than dangerous blogging.
Closed emotions
MANISHA GUPTA
The article “Disconnected connections” (Open Page, February 3) was a true depiction of the younger generation’s mental and emotional turmoil pouring out in open forums. Stupid as it may sound, it is a most necessary human need and internal disturbances not finding an outlet may lead to serious problems. And if the outpourings do find place on social-networking or blog sites, it leads to dangerous consequences. It cuts both ways.
While there are no different reasons for youngsters’ feelings today from those in the olden days, the consequences are much more complex because today children’s level of awareness and maturity is way beyond their age. Rising expectations add to the problem.
Growing up has been pre-poned, maturity coming sooner than desired. Well, speed is not always good. Today’s generation is quite open and verbal. Shyness or hitch is now passé. Society has drastically transformed into a much more “open society.” This has positive and negative connotations.
Parents and children now share a more open relationship but still at times the former may feel uncomfortable about issues which the latter are quite at ease with, because of information overexposure and verbal and open societal systems.
Rapid transformation
Of course, the entire onus does not lie with the children. It rather is an ill-effect of the rapid transformation our society has undergone. From TV to computer and internet to modernisation to globalisation, well we can blame any or all these advancements. We have become too computerised and want instant answers. We do not have time to sit back and reflect on causes and effects and think out solutions.
Our life today is so jam-packed with “activities” that we hardly have any free time, literally “no time to stand and stare,” not even at our own family, elders and children. No time to watch them grow old or mature.
Parents are busy running the rat race to success, positions, or money or all. Most mothers are working and families nuclear. Children generally do not have anyone to monitor them apart from a “Bai” who at most can feed their stomachs but not fill their hearts with love or be an emotional pillow or mental comfort.
Keeping a diary
Acknowledge it or not, but we have always had so much in our hearts and minds that we wanted to tell somebody — parents, siblings or well meaning friends. In the event of none of these possibilities, it was our very own “diary.” We could write anything, pour out extreme anger, terrible hurt or failure or intense dejection. From our hates to our mental and emotional agonies, our dear diary bore the brunt and the weight of it all without ever betraying.
This was a very personal and secret outpouring which nobody could ever access. Blog sites are nothing but a “public avtar” of this “private diary.” All the same, it’s all about “writing” and “sharing” one’s emotional pains to move into the world of happiness.
That is it. Everyone wants someone who’ll listen to him but no one has time. Parents and children both do not have time. The easiest solution to this apparently complex problem is “finding time” by cutting down on unnecessary running around and “spending time together.”
A “heart to heart” is all that is needed to know, understand and be involved with the children in their process of emotional and physical maturity, being part of their failures and successes and mental insecurities. This will provide better solutions as well as bonding rather than dangerous blogging.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
That's Life's Happiness
beginning my blogging career, here's sharing an article of mine published in the "INNER VOICE" column of Hindustan Times on 15th March, 2010.
(this is the the original article. A slightly edited version was published under the title "LIFE'S GAINS, MISSES" in HT "Inner Voice")
That’s Life’s Happiness!
Manisha Gupta
The little gift my husband’s friend’s mother gave me when they came over to our place is exactly what ‘life’ is actually. I opened this beautiful, flower shaped golden and white box inquisitively to see what it contained. You can’t believe my surprise and excitement at finding another, identical but slightly smaller box inside the first one. My curiosity and anxiety rising, I opened the second box only to find yet another still smaller identical version of it. Now I was really curious, my excitement heightened and imagination flying beyond control as to what gift could fit into such a tiny, cute box as this. With trembling hands, excited mind and a fluttering heart, I opened this little, decorated container….only to find that ……THAT was it !!
It suddenly dawned on me that this is precisely what life is. You go from one layer to another, from one event to the next, from this end to the other with thrill, excitement, anxiety & curiosity and go on unfolding the mystery of life at every corner. But little do you realize that at the end of it all, there is nothing, simply NOTHING. Just an empty box, a nothingness, a vacuum to be precise. And life is over. And it is all about our expectations. It is because we expect each box to contain “something”, we’re happy as long as we can “see” something inside each. But the moment we reach the last box containing nothing, we feel let down and unhappy.
Well, we all know that at the end of life, there’s just death. The catch is, whatever life there is, whatever excitement or thrill there is, it is just in “opening” each of those “boxes”, in going through each of those events, episodes and the mysterious layers of life unfolding slowly before you.
So enjoy unraveling the mystery of life, have fun going through it, keep the excitement on while crossing all the hurdles and difficulties because you never know which box is the last one. Moreover, be happy in the journey of life because life is in the journey, destination is only death!
Friday, July 16, 2010
a new journey
right now, when my daughter created for me this blog
off all times iam experiencing a writer's block!!
anyway, will be back soon.
off all times iam experiencing a writer's block!!
anyway, will be back soon.
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