A very valid point raised, Aparajita!!
indeed, if THIS is "Development", then do we really need it??
because, development, as one understands, must take one forward, towards progress and betterment of society. and one thing that strikes me about the current scenario in India is that people's behaviours are somewhat contradictory in themselves. or should one say that the collective trend of our society is contradictory. in the sense that, on the one hand, it is being pulled towards western culture norms and materialistic inclinations, but at the same time, there is a seemingly vast increase in spiritual trends. atleast, that's what one would conclude from the rising numbers present in spiritual classes/functions/affiliations.
now isn't that surprising???
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Delhi ........
there's another aspect of Delhi that baffles me! it is the blatant denial or un- acknowledgement of relationships. what i mean by this is that Delhi, as I have been noticing over the years, has a culture of non-recognition of “recognizables’.
what i mean simply is that people, whom you know and who know you, have the ability to acknowledge or not acknowledge this relationship depending on the circumstances. People may just look through you and pass you by without so much as a “HI” when they don’t need anything from you but the very same people will do everything and indulge in talk, even if you seem least interested, and be sweet, when they want something from you. The salutations (or non-salutations) depend on their need of you.
Shocking & disgusting behaviour! What’s worse is the fact that children, who ofcourse are very quick learners, are learning this trait very early on in life in this city. They wish a “good morning, good afternoon” or a “Namaste” depending on various factors. And when they don’t think it is required, they simply walk past you. What a pity! Children are being taught manners/etiquettes not for the sake of respecting somebody, or showing decency, but to use these gestures as tools to get work done.
Can’t imagine what values our children will absorb from such a selfish environment and attitudes!
what i mean simply is that people, whom you know and who know you, have the ability to acknowledge or not acknowledge this relationship depending on the circumstances. People may just look through you and pass you by without so much as a “HI” when they don’t need anything from you but the very same people will do everything and indulge in talk, even if you seem least interested, and be sweet, when they want something from you. The salutations (or non-salutations) depend on their need of you.
Shocking & disgusting behaviour! What’s worse is the fact that children, who ofcourse are very quick learners, are learning this trait very early on in life in this city. They wish a “good morning, good afternoon” or a “Namaste” depending on various factors. And when they don’t think it is required, they simply walk past you. What a pity! Children are being taught manners/etiquettes not for the sake of respecting somebody, or showing decency, but to use these gestures as tools to get work done.
Can’t imagine what values our children will absorb from such a selfish environment and attitudes!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Delhi means...........
Had read somewhere that last year the authorities had decided to teach good behaviour to the Rude Delhi, in light of the CommonWealth Games, due soon. that reminded me of one of my articles published in the Tabloid "METRO NOW" on 14th May, 2008. i wonder how much of our Delhi has really improved!
Cultural Capital Lacks “Culture”
Manisha Gupta
Living in Delhi, the so called “Cultural Capital” of India, can be a nightmare to some people’s cultural sensitivities. There seems to be a total lack of culture in this city. Here politeness is taken to be a sign of weakness and nice behavior a sign of lack of power or control. There is so much aggression in society at all levels and that too on the side of the wrong doer.
For example the milkman who’ll deliver the milk somewhere at 12 noon instead of 6 or 7 in the morning and still misbehave, or the “Autowallah” or “Taxiwallah” who’ll charge you any exorbitant amount and be rude on top of that, or the shopkeeper who’ll make the customer feel so inferior and dependent with his rudeness and aggression. What these people forget is it is the customer category which gives them their business.
Even otherwise, there’s no respect for anything or anybody left in the city and anyone can get away with any behavior. Everybody seems to be just waiting for the slightest opportunity to insult or misbehave with somebody. That kind of gives them a high.
Where is this trend in society going to lead us? There are certain societal norms especially in the context of Indian cultural traditions. The way people are going, throwing away all ‘cultural sensitivity & traditional norms’ in the name of modernization, our society is already in quite a sea of ‘cultural trouble’. In fact the west is imbibing our good cultural norms in many cases while we live in a ‘cultural confusion’.
Cultural Capital Lacks “Culture”
Manisha Gupta
Living in Delhi, the so called “Cultural Capital” of India, can be a nightmare to some people’s cultural sensitivities. There seems to be a total lack of culture in this city. Here politeness is taken to be a sign of weakness and nice behavior a sign of lack of power or control. There is so much aggression in society at all levels and that too on the side of the wrong doer.
For example the milkman who’ll deliver the milk somewhere at 12 noon instead of 6 or 7 in the morning and still misbehave, or the “Autowallah” or “Taxiwallah” who’ll charge you any exorbitant amount and be rude on top of that, or the shopkeeper who’ll make the customer feel so inferior and dependent with his rudeness and aggression. What these people forget is it is the customer category which gives them their business.
Even otherwise, there’s no respect for anything or anybody left in the city and anyone can get away with any behavior. Everybody seems to be just waiting for the slightest opportunity to insult or misbehave with somebody. That kind of gives them a high.
Where is this trend in society going to lead us? There are certain societal norms especially in the context of Indian cultural traditions. The way people are going, throwing away all ‘cultural sensitivity & traditional norms’ in the name of modernization, our society is already in quite a sea of ‘cultural trouble’. In fact the west is imbibing our good cultural norms in many cases while we live in a ‘cultural confusion’.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Sweet Comment on "Friendship Day"
Dear Atulya
that was a real sweet comment of yours!
but more importantly, it is the relevant friendship day incident that you've narrated, which draws one's attention.
and still more important or most important is your understanding of the whole issue, which you've rightly written "one should be a true friend and not for one's benefit". also you've given just the right message for Friendship day to the world - "one Shouldn't USE friends".
Great!i hope this world has more people like you.
that was a real sweet comment of yours!
but more importantly, it is the relevant friendship day incident that you've narrated, which draws one's attention.
and still more important or most important is your understanding of the whole issue, which you've rightly written "one should be a true friend and not for one's benefit". also you've given just the right message for Friendship day to the world - "one Shouldn't USE friends".
Great!i hope this world has more people like you.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Of Friend “SHIPS” !!
some thoughts on Friendship Day...!
Reading “Rent A friend” news where lonely souls can “hire” a friend if and when they need one, made me wonder what friendships mean these days. They aren’t long term any more. This age is about quick fixes, fast foods and faster relationships. Nor are they about emotional give and take. I remember when our teacher in Nainital asked us to collect writings on “friendship” for our scrap-book. I’d found a lovely poem by some great man whose name I should be excused for not remembering over the years, but these initial lines I do.
“It never is a one-way traffic
To friendship that we treasure
There is give as well as take
Within the fullest measure”
These describe and sum-up the phenomenon completely, giving the essence and entirety of friendship. If it’s one-way, it simply doesn’t exist, is the fundamental truth.
That was then! Over the years the dilution inherent in the environment has percolated to this relationship too. After SRK’s mega hit “Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai”, friendship has taken a turn and is more about friendship “days” and “bands”. The depth of relationship is perhaps measured by the quality of the band. In this era of quick changes in climate, environment, economy, friends too seem to be following suit.
The age-old concept of friends being likeminded people with similar value- systems and morals has undergone a tremendous change. Now, even value-systems in the so called “seat of cultural values” that was once India, everything is susceptible to malfunction, right from machinery to humans to wardrobes. So much so that we’re undergoing a serious and severe ‘Indian values malfunction’. Earlier, meaning and depth of friendship, automatic core feelings of giving, sharing, “being there”, genuine concern and even sacrifice existed. Today it’s different. “A friend in need is a friend to be avoided” said Lord Samuel and this is how it is now. Then friends were probably made for life even though no ceremonial vows are taken to enter into this relation. There were no hidden agendas or motives to “be friends”. Friends were treated well and one wouldn’t ever trample on the dignity, self respect, feelings or emotions of friends.
But change, as they say, is inevitable. Friendship then was about “bOnds” but now it’s more about “bAnds”!! Nowadays friendships are made with selfish motives and personal agendas. People may not be at the same wavelength or emotional level, but still make friends with someone because they want to use him, his position or his contacts. Such relationships aren’t long lasting. In some cases they probably last as long as the Velcro or hook of the friendship band! Specially the younger generation is quite “practical” and doesn’t like to waste time or tears over bygones. They can say hi & bye quite soon with very little tolerance or patience in between. They neither worry nor cry over lost friends, but move on and start emailing or sms-ing the new one. With this renting facility, guess it will just be “have money, can hire” kinds with no commitment whatsoever.
In others friendships may last as long as professional interests of both are intertwined and mutual benefits achieved. “You scratch my back I scratch yours”, simple. I don’t know how many of you noticed this depiction in OSO’s title song, when SRK and Govinda enacted it.
Now, friends can be the nicest and sweetest people on earth when they need you yet are capable of looking through you and walking past without so much as even the slightest sign of recognition or the blink of an eye. Beware of “fair weather friends”.
Such is the status of friend “SHIPS” today. They are perhaps “ships” with a fate worse than that of the Titanic. They have no solid anchor in the form of genuine bonding. My dear friends just remember “bOnds” may last longer than a life time even without fevicol but “bAnds” of friendships may give in, inspite of fevicol, at the very first shower rain. So don’t let your friend “SHIP” sink anywhere else apart from your heart!!
For, as someone said “People walk in and out of your life all the time but friends leave their footprints…… in your heart……forever!”
Reading “Rent A friend” news where lonely souls can “hire” a friend if and when they need one, made me wonder what friendships mean these days. They aren’t long term any more. This age is about quick fixes, fast foods and faster relationships. Nor are they about emotional give and take. I remember when our teacher in Nainital asked us to collect writings on “friendship” for our scrap-book. I’d found a lovely poem by some great man whose name I should be excused for not remembering over the years, but these initial lines I do.
“It never is a one-way traffic
To friendship that we treasure
There is give as well as take
Within the fullest measure”
These describe and sum-up the phenomenon completely, giving the essence and entirety of friendship. If it’s one-way, it simply doesn’t exist, is the fundamental truth.
That was then! Over the years the dilution inherent in the environment has percolated to this relationship too. After SRK’s mega hit “Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai”, friendship has taken a turn and is more about friendship “days” and “bands”. The depth of relationship is perhaps measured by the quality of the band. In this era of quick changes in climate, environment, economy, friends too seem to be following suit.
The age-old concept of friends being likeminded people with similar value- systems and morals has undergone a tremendous change. Now, even value-systems in the so called “seat of cultural values” that was once India, everything is susceptible to malfunction, right from machinery to humans to wardrobes. So much so that we’re undergoing a serious and severe ‘Indian values malfunction’. Earlier, meaning and depth of friendship, automatic core feelings of giving, sharing, “being there”, genuine concern and even sacrifice existed. Today it’s different. “A friend in need is a friend to be avoided” said Lord Samuel and this is how it is now. Then friends were probably made for life even though no ceremonial vows are taken to enter into this relation. There were no hidden agendas or motives to “be friends”. Friends were treated well and one wouldn’t ever trample on the dignity, self respect, feelings or emotions of friends.
But change, as they say, is inevitable. Friendship then was about “bOnds” but now it’s more about “bAnds”!! Nowadays friendships are made with selfish motives and personal agendas. People may not be at the same wavelength or emotional level, but still make friends with someone because they want to use him, his position or his contacts. Such relationships aren’t long lasting. In some cases they probably last as long as the Velcro or hook of the friendship band! Specially the younger generation is quite “practical” and doesn’t like to waste time or tears over bygones. They can say hi & bye quite soon with very little tolerance or patience in between. They neither worry nor cry over lost friends, but move on and start emailing or sms-ing the new one. With this renting facility, guess it will just be “have money, can hire” kinds with no commitment whatsoever.
In others friendships may last as long as professional interests of both are intertwined and mutual benefits achieved. “You scratch my back I scratch yours”, simple. I don’t know how many of you noticed this depiction in OSO’s title song, when SRK and Govinda enacted it.
Now, friends can be the nicest and sweetest people on earth when they need you yet are capable of looking through you and walking past without so much as even the slightest sign of recognition or the blink of an eye. Beware of “fair weather friends”.
Such is the status of friend “SHIPS” today. They are perhaps “ships” with a fate worse than that of the Titanic. They have no solid anchor in the form of genuine bonding. My dear friends just remember “bOnds” may last longer than a life time even without fevicol but “bAnds” of friendships may give in, inspite of fevicol, at the very first shower rain. So don’t let your friend “SHIP” sink anywhere else apart from your heart!!
For, as someone said “People walk in and out of your life all the time but friends leave their footprints…… in your heart……forever!”
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