Dec-6,2010
Just read an article “Living Apart Together” by Namita Devidayal, published in The Times of India of Dec-4,2010.
The piece gives reasons and justifications for married couples to be having separate Bedrooms. It says this latest fad is due to each one wanting more “personal space”. Samething was said and conveyed by Deepika Padukone’s character in the film “BREAK KE BAAD”. She needed more space ……from her love & relationships.
Well, if one wants to stay so…...independent, then why love or marry at all??? Isn’t falling in love and /or marrying a way of filling up the immediate space around you with love, emotional security?? And when that space is filled up, you want to create space between the partners??? First you want love then you want distance from that love, first you long for someone to come near you, your heart, your emotions and then you feel suffocated because of that very closeness?? And just imagine if in that “personal space” that you crave for in a marriage or love relationship, someone else happens to accommodate??? What then ??? won’t you feel bad? Cheated? Emotionally insecure? Just what happened to Deepika in the end of the movie??
The question “Can separate bedrooms save a marriage??” is answered in the affirmative and it even ends with “separate flats are even better”. Well, I don’t agree. Only positive aspect of couples staying in separate bedrooms, that comes to my mind is that it may have a positive effect on the world population.
But if you have to live apart, then might as well not get married. Marriage is all about accommodating, adjusting, tolerating and giving each other space ……….without actually creating physical, mental & emotional space within the relationship. living separately is actually going to create a distance within the relationship.
Staying away from each other for a while is fine but living separately is quite another dimension to the relationship //best//mg
Well articulated response to a very vexing issue. The need for privacy is more driven by our lifestyles which donot do justice to the institution of marriage and donot give enough time, energy and emotions to develop and build a loving and ressponsive family. Seeprate bedrooms are the start of the process of seperation and display a lack of trust in the relationship.
ReplyDeleteWell done in clearly addressing the pressure points. keep it up.
if you want space then why fill it first.it can't be that ki kuch khoyo bhi na aur dard bhi na ho.a relationship is not just a word but it is how you can adjust,live and accommodate with each other.
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